Thursday, November 24, 2011

Peppe Luv.

Warning. This is a Debbie Downer post.

Dear Peppe Luv,
You were the greatest dog I ever could have wished for.  I remember when we got you when I was in first grade and I told Ms. Scheckleman that I had a new brother and she thought that mom had a baby.  That was funny.  I remember how you used to help me sing "Go Jonny Go".  I'd sing and lean you back on the two drum beats and you'd growl.  You hated me for that but, we sounded pretty great together.  I remember how we'd celebrate our birthdays together every year because yours was leap day and mine was March 1st.  You looked real cute in those birthday hats.  I remember how I'd dress you up in clothes.  You didn't like that much either, but you got used to it.  My favorite was the jean vest and the bottle of Mendota Springs. 
But most importantly, I remember how you loved me.  How excited you got for me to take you on walks, how you greeted me everytime I came home, and how you would comfort me when I would cry.  You always knew. 
Thanks for giving me 16 years of love.  And thanks for not letting me see you get too weak.  You knew I couldn't handle it.  I can't say I was ready for you to go., of course.. I never would be. 
Gosh I miss you. 
Love you, Peps.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

A Semester of Realizations.

Realization #1: Genuine peace in all circumstances. (This is the boring realization). It sounds cliche, but I realized that I was letting other peoples circumstances affect my own.  And don't get me wrong, I love listening to people.  I love that people in my life trust me enough to come to me with whatever is going on.  That being said, I found that if I was happy, I felt like I couldn't be if one of my friends was sad.  And if I was 'sad', I felt like I couldn't talk to my happy friends for the reason that it might bring them down.  So I decided that I am going to just be happy all the time.  And that means being intentional about being happy instead of just not being sad.

Realization #2: Grilled Cheese Theory and the Power of Possibility.  Well.  If you're not familiar with my Grilled Cheese Theory, that's because I need to give it a better name.  It probably should be something more along the lines of... the I-Didn't-Want-It-But-I-Thought-I-Did Theory.  Obviously I need work on the naming of my theories.  Anyways.  All it means is that there are certain things that we decide that we like.  (This was invented with the example of males).  So we like this 'thing'.  And day after day, we keep liking it.  And in the process of telling ourselves that we like this 'thing', we've actually stopped liking it.  But, we hardly realize that we've stopped.  Until.. we finally figure out that we actually don't like this 'thing' anymore, and we only thought we still liked it because once upon a time.. we liked it.  Anyways.  Turns out, this I-Didn't-Want-It-But-I-Thought-I-Did Theory is real.  For me anyways.  Because I 'liked' this guy.  [I kinda hate the word 'like' in this context, p.s.] He wasn't more than a friend to me, nor did I ever pursue anything beyond that, but he's just a solid good guy and inevitably.. feelings were developed.  Anyways.  This is where the 'possibility' factor come in.  Once I was honest with him about where I was, and the possibilty went away, I felt so refreshed.  So relieved that the Grilled Cheese Theory was true in this instance and kind of instantly, I moved on. And that's that one. 

Realization #3:  I don't want to teach.  If you read my last post, you can see the details, but.. basically, my passion is for Math and not for teaching it.  Therefore, I don't see the logic in learning to teach anymore, so I'm ditching Education as part of my education.  Mathematics it is.  [You can choose to relate this to the Grilled Cheese Theory as well, because.. it's true]

And those are my realizations.  In about 10 minutes, I'll be taking a Spanish placement test to see how I .. well.. place in the Spanish class-taking process.  Whether or not I tell you the results depends on my outcome.  
Soon after that, I get to roadtrip to Nashville with two of my besties, Ens and Blakeley.  Blake's sister is getting married tomorrow, so that's the main reason to our adventure.  That and to have the weekend of our lives and forgetting about responsibilites.  //

Saturday, November 5, 2011

One Bad Apple.

Warning- I've nearly forgotten how to blog so this will probably be a huge combination of random thoughts.   

Right now, I'm watching 'Limitless' with Ens and Shayler.  It's pretty interesting so far.  I wonder how awesome I'd be if I could access that much of my brain.  Dang.  I'd be so smart.  

In other news, it's 8:47 but it feels like 11:30pm at least.  I don't know what's happening to me but I feel like a grama some days.  Speaking of Grama- I really need to call her soon.  Also, it feels like Sunday.  Which is great, because it's not- so that just makes for a nice long weekend.  Speaking of weekends- I like what my weekends have become.  Just sittin and chillin with my friends. Amen for relaxation.  

In other bigger news, I'm changing my major.  From Math Education to strictly Mathematics.  My passion isn't for teaching, simply put.  And I don't see any logic in spending a whole semester student teaching and putting in all that work if it's not what I want to do with my life.  You could say "Well, what will you do with a Math major?" or.. "Why would you drop Education when you've come this far?" And to that I'd say, "There are lots of things I could do with a Math major.  And no, I can't pin-point exactly what those things are or what my dream job is, but I know that I don't want to teach.  So I'm trusting that I'll find something.  Grad school would be neat.  Maybe someday teaching college.  But I'll work for a while first until I have money for grad school." and then I'd say, "I've come a long way with Education, but I still have a crazy long way to go.  And Student Teaching is one heck of a thing to do if I'm not passionate for it."
So.  Yes, I'm scared.  But that comes from graduating college- not from graduating college with a Math degree.  Real life and the job market scares me. Going into the real world by myself is just scary.  But it'll be here before I know it.  And I'm trusting.  

So.  Tomorrow I have to brush up on the four years of Spanish that I took four years ago.  Then take a placement test next week to see how I can fulfill my Language requirement since I switched to a BA instead of a BS.  

And. That's the short update on Megan Jane.  //