Monday, December 3, 2012

Lazy Kick.

I've been a lazy bum for the past 4 hours.  And before that... I was sleeping. Until noon.  And to be honest., I only feel a little bit guilty.  I'm sick. So that's my first excuse.  But other than that.. I just don't care.  So let the Desperate Housewives role.  Speaking of Desperate Housewives- I'm halfway through the last season.  I suppose some might consider it a little bit sad how 'dependent' I've become on television. [Or so my dad would argue.]  But it's just been my form of brain relaxation.  I suppose I could read.  But that's a little bit less relaxing.  Lately., I've just submitted to laziness.  And it's been kind of lovely.  Sometimes I get lazy fits and I just let them wait themselves out.  They always pass before too long so I suppose I don't have much to worry about.  But hopefully it passes soon.  Because I've really gotta apply for jobs.  

Other than that.  It's Christmastime.  We put the tree up yesterday.  I've got a lot of presents to figure out and finish making.  Not to mention cards.  But again... this lazy kick doesn't help with that.  Oh well.

I don't have anything brilliant or profound to say.  Just tiny rambles about laziness I guess.  Maybe brilliance will come soon.  But no promises.

A few things to share, though.

1. I miss Nikweeta.
2. I have a new favorite quote today: 
"Never love anybody who treats you like you're ordinary." -Oscar Wilde. [Things I need to remember]
3. Corttnee Dawn.  You mean the world to me. Please don't ever forget it.
4. Sorry about the long url. But you should take a look at this: http://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/39-easy-diy-ways-to-create-art-for-your-walls?fb_action_ids=10151259043066934&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%7B%2210151259043066934%22%3A400883309966906%7D&action_type_map=%7B%2210151259043066934%22%3A%22og.likes%22%7D&action_ref_map=%5B%5D

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Pleasure. Utility. Virtue.


Aristotle agreed that there were three types of friendship.  Friendships of utility.  Friendships of pleasure.  And friendships of virtue.  A friend of mine told me about this a few years ago, and I totally agree.  Recently, the difference between these types of friendships has resurfaced.  I found this blog from 2007 that someone wrote, and it's worded far better than I could.  So I'm sharing it.  Because I think it's somewhat profound and true.  So. Here it is:
 "Aristotle describes a friendship of utility as shallow, “easily dissolved” or for the old. He views them as such because this type of friendship is easily broken and based on something that is brought to the relationship by the other person. Aristotle uses the example of trade and argues that friendships of utility are often between opposite people, in order to maximize this trade. A more realistic name for this type of friendship would be an acquaintance and could be described as the relationship between a person and their mailman. They greet each other, discuss the weather and other such petty talk, but when it comes down to it, there is no real relationship present. Aristotle believed that this is exactly why this type of friendship is for the old; Aristotle argued that they “...are at such a time of life pursue not what is pleasant but what is beneficial.” Aristotle also believed that the young would pursue this type of friendship as they seek that which is advantageous to them and would not live with someone they are in this friendship with. This type of friendship is broken when, no matter how small, some part of the relationship changes and it is no longer beneficial to one or both of the individuals in the friendship. For example, say a person visits the same barber shop every month. However, a new barber shop has opened up and provides better service for a cheaper price. The friendship built between the barber and person getting their haircut will likely dissolve, as it is cheaper to use the services of the cheaper barber. Because of this, the friendship of utility has very weak bonds between the individuals in the relationship and in this aspect; it is quite similar to the friendship of pleasure.
Aristotle goes on to describe what he terms as the friendship of pleasure. This type of friendship is normally built between the young as passions and pleasures are great influences in their lives. This type of relationship is characterized by such feelings as passion between lovers, or the feeling of belonging among a likeminded group of friends. It differs from the friendship of utility in that those who seek utility friendships are looking for a business deal or a long term benefit, whereas the friendship of pleasure Aristotle describes is where one seeks something which is pleasant to them presently.  This sort of relationship is built on passion, which among the youth, is constantly changing. Like the friendship of utility, Aristotle views this type of relationship as fleeting and target of constant change. This is precisely why Aristotle argues that the young “...quickly become friends and quickly stop...” and “...love and stop loving quickly...” Therefore, Aristotle views both friendship of utility and pleasure as unstable and constantly subject to abrupt change, which in fact dissolves the friendship, however; Aristotle moves on and begins discussing the truest form of friendship: that of virtue.
The highest form of friendship, Aristotle argues, is friendship of virtue. This type of friendship is based on a person wishing the best for their friends regardless of utility or pleasure. Aristotle calls it a “...complete sort of friendship between people who are good and alike in virtue...” This type of friendship is long lasting and tough to obtain because these types of people are hard to come by and it takes a lot of work to have a complete virtuous friendship. Aristotle notes that there can not be a large amount of friends in a virtuous friendship because the amount of time and care that a virtuous friendship needs limits the amount of time one can spend with other friends.Aristotle argues that there are similarities between friendship of virtue and that of utility and pleasure, however; it is only the good that can endure in such a friendship.As Aristotle puts it, “it is clear that only the good can be friends for themselves, since the bad do not enjoy their own kind unless some benefit comes from them.”Friendship of virtue is only felt among the good, between few amounts of people, is resistant to slander and is long lasting."

Sunday, October 28, 2012

The Best Ships Of All Ships.

Well. I've not visited this page in years.  My apologies.
Perhaps it's because I've been too busy to think. But mostly it's because I've been too busy to gather any thoughts.  Because I have too many of them.  And not enough time to organize them.

But I have gathered a few opinions on some things.  And that's what I'm here to share.  


What I've really been realizing., especially for me., is that I think we're all worried about being expendable. [considered to be not worth keeping or maintaining.]  Anyways. I hate to be the one to admit it., but it's a thing I've begun to wonder about.  I've always had confidence in most things.  Most friendships.  But there are some that make me wonder.  People who say they'll never leave.  After a while, we start to wonder if they will.  Because the other's have.  And although they've done nothing to prove that we will be expended, they've also done nothing to prove that we won't be.  So. I guess it's one of those things that we just won't know.  Which really is kind of a crappy situation. Because are we fully confiding in our friendships if we're holding back because we're worried we'll be expended? And. I guess that's all up to how you choose to live in your friendships.  I usually choose to believe I won't be expended.  And if I am., I suppose life goes on.  
But I've learned a lot about friendship this summer.  How some people will just be there for you. And some people won't.  And some people would use you.  And some just never would.  And some people will never get along.  And some people just 'click'.  And usually those are the ones that will always stick around.  And sometimes we're stupid and we do things to lose the ones we've clicked with.  Hopefully only temporarily.  But either way., life just has to go on and we've got to learn to keep the good ones.  Because sulking hardly helps much. (Maybe sometimes just a little bit). 

Another wonder I've noticed is the value of quality time. Especially when it comes to my dad.  Even if I'm just sitting next to him pretending I like to watch the news., he's just grateful that I'm there.  Because even if he doesn't want to talk to me about the stresses of the day., at least he knows I'm there.  And that brings comfort to a person.  And I get that from him.  I'm quite fond of just sitting and doing nothing with people I enjoy.  I think it's a lost art.  


And. I think that's all the contemplation I've got to offer for the day.  

P.S. Fun fact: 'Hypocrisy' comes from masked actors back in the day when they used to wear two masks for two different parts.  Hmm.  Two-faced?  

P.P.S. Happy Birthday. I miss you. 


Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Smells Like Halloween.

First and foremost, I'd like to apologize for being the worst blogger most likely known to humankind.  No promises., but I can try to do better.  

So. What's new in my life?  Well.  I have a little case of the blues.  There's this cute quote from an 8 year old that goes something like.. "If you're tired of being blue then paint yourself a different color"., and I need to try to do that. I just feel like I'm having this little dilemma.  I'm working these two part time jobs.  And I'm glad that I have them.. but I need to be applying for 'careers'.  The thing is., I work a lot and then don't have too much free time to sit and apply for jobs.  So.  I'm feeling kind of lame.  But at least I look 18 and people don't think I'm wasting my life when they see me.  They must just think I'm more of a high school worker than a lifer.  And that's a good thing.  But.  My goal is to apply to 5 real jobs by Sunday.  And now that I said it., I must.  So. I'll have to let you know when I do.  


This morning, I woke up with a migraine.  I sure do love Fall., but season changes are the worst for my migraines.  So.  I woke up, called in and said I wouldn't be helping people Save Big Money today, took some drugs, and went back to bed.  Then I woke up again, made eggs, and sat in the chair to relax a bit more.  Took some more drugs, sewed a little bit, called Julie, called Blake, skyped Hillary, went to visit DQ, called Blake again, and skyped Julie.  It was truly grand.  It was just what the doctor ordered.  So.  Tomorrow it's back to the real world.  Gettin my back cracked, Savin Big Money, and helpin Cortt study for Statistics.    

In more regards to my blues., I watched this to cheer me up today: 

That's all.
Except. Amongst my blues, I'm so grateful for my friends.  Seriously. They're the greatest.  

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Valor.


valor: great courage in the face of danger. 
I just watched Act of Valor with my mama. Man. So intense. So good. You should watch it and then re-read this poem. At least twice.  
“So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.
Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none.
When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision.
When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.”
~ Chief Tecumseh (Poem from Act of Valor the Movie)

Monday, August 20, 2012

Significantly Understood.

I think that two of the things we humans want most in life is to be significant and to be understood.
Lately, it seems that every one in my life here acts in a certain way that can only be explained as wanting to be significant in some way. Significant to a friend. A boyfriend. A company. Just significant to something. Someone. It's human nature to want to be wanted. And it's crazy how obvious it is when you think about it.
As far as being understood goes., most of us want that, too. That's what friendships end up being about. Who understands you. Who 'gets' you. Because that can be hard to find. It seems that way to me anyways.

I think we all think we're so weird and messed up that we think no one would want us. [and I don't just mean significant others., I mean people in general.]  Or that we'd have hours upon days of stories and experiences to explain. And I don't know about you; but I ramble.  And I think the people that enjoy my rambles are few and far between. (Those are my keepers.)

So. If someone's significant to you or you understand them really well., tell them. And if you're significant to someone who understands you., thank them.  And keep them around. Because the good ones can be hard to come by.  And for the ones who don't understand you or respect your significance, do your best not to care about that.  Love them, still.  But don't let their stupidity be your bad day.  


P.S. Hanging out with Cortt and Christopher has really been the greatest.
 

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Iced Coffee, Please.

I spent the other morning at Menards doing returns.  This means that I blindly walk around the humongous store.. hoping to accidentally land in an aisle that has the same item I'm trying to put back.  It was actually pretty good for me., seeing as I know where hardly anything is.  Plus.  I was able to make several people smile on my way.  That's always a good thing.  It also means, however, that my mind goes wild thinking of all the new things I can build.  Menards is nothing like a craft store.  Craft stores are weak compared to all the hardware here.     
The reason I would be intrigued by so many possibilities, of course, is because I'm finally making a craft room.  No.  This does not mean I'll live at home for forever.  It just means that I'm making myself comfortable while I'm there.  Because let's face it, I could do projects for days.  So I might as well have a place to do them.  So.  I'll be painting today [Spiced Curry Dutch Boy Orange to be exact] and I'll be building a desk and making a large chalkboard once Daddio gets back from Canada.  

In other news, I'm at the coffee shop.  I know, I know. "When will Megan ever shut-up about loving coffee shops?!" Answer: Never.  I will never shut-up about it.  I just love them so much.  AND.  I haven't had coffee in two whole days. And that's kinda crazy when you look at my recent track record.  And my bro is coming to join me soon, so that's grand.  Otherwise., I just get to sit and do internet things.  Like blogging and calmly job searching and looking at things on Pinterest.  And then I get to hang out with Katie Ann today.  And paint.

Also in other news, I have some new thoughts about love.  But I won't get too in depth about it right now.  My summary about it would be that I'm a little bit of anti-love right now.  Not 'I hate love'., just... not swooning over the thought of it.  Because it's just so difficult.  To find a love that's pure anymore.  I mean... if I had a quarter for every time a girl said "Why are boys so stupid!?!", then.. I would have made 50 cents during my shift yesterday.  I'm just currently exhausted at the work it takes and the process of finding someone with the right shared interests who adores you just the right amount.  I'm sure it'll happen someday., and it'll be grand.  But right now... living life is what I'm doing.  And I'm happy to be. 


So.  I'll leave you with this quote from my pal Albert Einstein.  Because he's my current favorite.  

"No, this trick won't work... How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?"

Friday, July 20, 2012

Great-Full.

Yesterday at work, I was sent to the Garden Center.  All by my lonesome on the single register.  And, ya know., I really actually loved being out there.  It was a perfect day.  Compared to the recent hot ones.  The decorative waterfalls make a glorious sound and I could look at all the fliers and learn about return policies as I pleased.  It was just me.  There with my thoughts among thoughts.  And on most days; that's refreshing.
I had a conversation with a guest that started on the subject of Post-its and morphed into college and faith.  Turns out we kinda know each other.  And then I wrote words on receipt paper., and that can never be boring.  

So. Today., I do rather love my life.  I'm grateful for my friends who drove long hours to see me and are staying until Sunday.  I'm grateful I have an incredibly comfy bed and a second employer in Hulu (that's a joke).  I'm grateful that I have a sister who loves me so incredibly.  I'm grateful I grew up with the English language, because the word 'grateful' not being spelled 'great-full' has never really sat well with me.  I'm grateful for Post-it's and rebates that make them 39 cents.  I'm grateful for parents who aren't annoying to live with (compared to the rest of them).  I'm grateful for a mother who cries because she cracks my toe-nail and I'm grateful for a father who plays cribbage with me and my friends.  I'm grateful for all my friends throughout the states.  I'm grateful for my possible futures.  I'm grateful for my sewing machine and my new over-sized man shirt I'll be making into a skirt.  I'm grateful for pleasant guests with pleasant smiles.  And I'm grateful I don't have to work tomorrow.  


In other news, I'm at the coffee shop again with Blake and Jules.  I'm "working on my resume"... or at least I will be soon... once I finish watching my episode of White Collar.  And they sit across from me watching Downton Abbey.  They are quite addicted and it's quite entertaining.  My lil bro will be showing up soon.  It's always great to see him.  And tonight., we're going out to fish fry with the parents.  So., as you can see, it's a very fun filled day.  And I am very grateful for it all.    

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Less Than Three.

Among what I've recently identified as sadness or loneliness, I've managed to find quite a bit of happiness.  
I'm a little late on the blogging of last weekend, but.. better late than never they say.  

Two sets of my great friends got married.  Zach and Sarah Strout on Friday the 6th, and Jordan and Niquita Hohm on Saturday the 7th.  I got to see Blake and my long lost friend, Evan, so that was lovely. I also got to hang out with Aves and Jace, who are Blake's niece and nephew.  They say the dardest things.  






AND THEN... 
Sunday night, two of my favorite people showed up on my doorstep.  Their love probably couldn't have come at a better time.  Today we're gonna go camp out at the coffeeshop.  
Man. Do I love them.  



Thursday, July 5, 2012

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Hohm Is Where The Heart Is.

Well.  This is an ode to the loveliest couple I know.  Jordan and Niquita soon-to-be Hohm.  


Tomorrow., I get to see Nikweeta at last.  It's been far too long.  But (perhaps) more importantly than that, Niqui and Jordan get married this Saturday.  And I could not be more excited.  


There really hasn't been a couple [aside from the obvious set of parents..] that has taught me more about love and a relationship.  They probably don't even realize what an example they are.  Being Nikweeta's roommate was one of the best semesters of my life.  Not only because I was her roojmie., but because I got to see their relationship first hand.  The love that they modeled was what I really needed to see in that college year.  To see what a genuine relationship really should look like.  And I couldn't have picked two more perfect people if I would have tried.  I can't wait to watch their marriage and hold their babies someday.
I'm just so excited to see them both.  And to see them get MURRIED!!



Saturday, June 30, 2012

Introvert.


As much as I'd like to argue the point at times., I've come to terms with the fact that I'm an introvert.  Sure.. I'm a bit of an extrovert at times.  I'm a Pisces.. so I'm a fence rider. [even though I don't really agree with astrological signs].  Sometimes I need people and conversation to recharge.  Actually., it seems that I do most often of the times.  But... there are times where all I need is my laptop and a coffee shop and an iced coffee with a shot of white mocha.  And I believe that true extroverted people wouldn't need that at all.  I'm comfortable being alone and having not more than one friend in Marshfield for longer than an extrovert would be.  And although I couldn't handle it forever., I can be pretty happy with books and a journal and a television and a sewing machine.. and internet.  So.  Here's me being introverted at the coffee shop., while I skype chat away with my bestie Blake while she's at a coffee shop doing the same.  I must say.  She is wonderful.
I also happen to be going through old photos in the task of organizing my external hard drive.  And. I found these two gems.
We're beautiful., aren't we?!






In other news!  My friends Jonathan and Katie got married last night! They are such a beautiful perfect pair!  And Zach and Sarah get married next Friday! AND. . Nikweeta and Jordan get married in one week.  I can't wait to witness it all first hand.  All the love!!

Anyways., I think that's about all I want to cover for now. 

Happy weekending everyone!  See you soon, Greenville!







    

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Number: Four.

Well.  If you know me at all., you know that I'm very talented in switching from task to task.  Story to story, craft to craft, or.. in this case., book to book.
I'm currently reading 4.  Now.. That's a lot.  But it's what I have to do if I'm going to read.  



'The Universe at the Teacup' is going down as my most favorite book I've read.  I'm in love with every word.  "A difference is a difference only if it makes a difference", "More or less of something very often adds up to more than simply more or less; quantitative changes can make huge qualitative differences", "We all march to our own metronomes", and "We miss a great deal because we perceive only things on our own scale" are four of my favorites from the chapter on 'A Matter of Scale'.  I'm just intrigued.  Every step of the way.
'Letter to a Christian Nation' is a book written by an atheist in a response to Christians response from his first book, 'An End to Faith'.  It really makes my mind turn.  More on that some other time if you'd like to discuss it in real life.

'The Lover's Dictionary' is just a fun little poetically worded read. It's written [obviously] like a dictionary.  And every 'definition' is like a journal entry.  One of my favorite entries has been akin: "... Did it matter that we both drank coffee at night and both happened to go to Barcelona the summer after our senior year?  In the long view, was it such a revelation that we were both ticklish and that we both liked dogs more than cats?  Really, weren't these facts just placeholders until the long view could truly assert itself?  We were painting by numbers, starting with the greens.  Because that happened to be our favorite color.  And this, we figured, had to mean something."  Anyways.  I've really loved it.
'Change of Heart' I can hardly tell you much about, because I'm only on page 45 of 441... so I've got an awful long way.  But I do know that the last (and only) book I ready by Jodi Picoult was wonderful.   [You should read 'Nineteen Minutes' if you have time.]  I really love it so far.

Well shoot.  I'm sorry.  That's already an awful lot of words and I'm not done.  


Four miles.  That's how far I ran the other day.  And I only walked for 4 minutes of it.  And although I did it incredibly slowly, I'm pretty proud of myself.  Half-marathon training is pretty fun thus far.  It was so mental though.  I started to psych myself out during the 2nd mile.  I started thinking: "Oh gosh.  How will I ever run 13.1 of these? If 4 seems this hard?"  And then I reminded myself that I'm only at week 1 of 14.  And by the time I get there, with Katie's help, I should be alright.  So.  That's that.  


I went of a 44 minute bike ride with my Daddio tonight.  And saw 4 very adorable bunnies.  


And now I should go to bed.  Because I was tired 2 hours ago and I have no idea why I'm still awake.  But.  I want my Gilly to know that this blog is totally obviously dedicated to her.  Because 4 is an even number.  And I counted all of these things particularly for her.  And I love her so much.  Infinity to the fourth power., if you will.  Also. The 4th of July is possibly hopefully when I can see her.  That's another 4.  I'm hoping her and Josh will join me in Greenville for fireworks.  This is my invitation.  


Also.  Nikweeta and Jordan get married so incredibly soon.  And I am dying with excitement.  



Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Waiting On A Mailman.



I've finally come to a decision after 23 years.  I like creamy peanut butter better than crunchy.  Really, it's been a conundrum for me for years.  But my final decision was swayed by the fact that crunchy peanut butter is just so difficult to spread.  There's simply not a need to put up with it. 

I've also realized that pleasant people make life a much happier place.  I mean… think about it.  I love random "Hello"s and "How are you?"s with strangers.  Funny strangers are by far the best.  Our waitress at Chili's on Sunday was by far the funniest waitress I've had.  And it's just because we talked to each other and joked about everything.  So.  I guess pleasantry goes along with feeling comfortable with people.  At least I believe so.  Being comfortable with people usually means being welcoming.  Giving them a friendly smile, thanking them for something small and actually hoping they "Have a nice day."  So yea.  Pleasant people make my life happier. 

In other news, I've been home for 3 weeks from college.  I'm actually really not minding it here.  Most of my GC besties have kept in close contact with me; so that transition has been easier.  And I made a new friend here.  Her name is Katie and we're going to run a half marathon together!  It's quite exciting if I do say so myself. 
What else happened you ask?  Well.  I got a job at Menards.  I am a cashier and I plan to smile at everybody., so that will be fun.
Also.  I sent my 5 year old crappy laptop in to get fixed, and it was broken during shipping.  Now., you must understand that my computer has devalued $800 in the past 5 years.  It was a piece of crap.  But.  They broke it.  So Best Buy gave an in store credit for the original value of the computer.  Which means I bought myself a brand new laptop for 'free'.  And I still had enough to buy an iPod classic.  So I got all that for $20., warranties included.
Now it's naming time.  Although naming inanimate options is far less amusing without my Nikweeta by my side, I still must.  So.  The iPod will probably be iTaj II.  Because iTaj the first didn't live nearly long enough, and I really did love him.  As far as the laptop… well… that may take me some time.  All I know is his initials must be P.C.  Prince Charming is a little too fancy., but I'll see if I can come up with anything good.  [Nikweeta, if you've got ideas., I'd love your help.]

Lastly but certainly not least., Fathers Day was Sunday.  I'll make this short and sweet because I could talk for hours about how I have the best dad in the world. 
Well.  I have the best dad in the world.  And there's nothing I'd rather do that go for a bike ride with that guy or beat him in cribbage.  No one listens to me as well as he does.  No one seeks to understand me as well.  No one has taught me more about how to value life and people.  If you don't know this guy, you are truly missing out.  


Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Quoted.

So.. It seems I'm in the mood to read quotes today.  I think so often other people can put things into words far more beautifully than I.  So here are a few of my favorites, said best by not I. 

"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.
And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,our presence automatically liberates others."
-Nelson Mandela

"I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school. They don’t teach you how to love somebody. They don’t teach you how to be famous. They don’t teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer. They don’t teach you how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind. They don’t teach you what to say to someone who’s dying. They don’t teach you anything worth knowing."
-Neil Gaiman

"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us, or we find it not."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Listen to the MUSTNTS child, listen to the DONTS.  Listen to the SHOULDNTS, the IMPOSSIBLES, the WONTS.  Listen to the NEVER HAVES, then listen close to me - Anything can happen, child.  ANYTHING can be."
-Shel Silverstein

"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves."
-Albert Einstein



Now that that's done I best get workin on my resume.  I need to stop pretending that real life isn't winding up to smack me in the face. 

Friday, June 1, 2012

When Tomorrow Becomes Yesterday.

I'm reading the excellent book called "The Universe and the Tea Cup- The Mathematics of Truth and Beauty."  And if you know much about me, you should know that me calling a book 'excellent' is about as common as my dad passing up a bike ride -- incredibly rare.  So.  First I'd like to re-point out the fact that I am (by common definition) a nerd.  And I do plan on re-going through my Calculus book as soon as I get unpacked.  So it only makes sense that I'm reading a book regarding the 'mathematics of truth and beauty'.  And like I said, It's fabulous.  I'm sure I'll have quite the quotes coming your way soon.  But here's one that I love [on the suject of risk]:
"Of course, risk isn't all bad.  Without knowingly taking risks, no one would ever walk out the door, much less go to school, drive a car, have a baby, submit a proposal for a research grant, fall in love, or swim in the ocean.  It's hard to have any fun, accomplish anything productive, or experience life without taking on risks - sometimes substantial ones.  Life, after all, is a fatal disease, and the mortality rate for humans, at the end of the day, is 100 percent." So there you have it.  Risk is essential.  But I think that risk too often keeps us from accomplishing what we should. 


What about the things we say we'll do tomorrow?  The things we never actually get around to doing.  When our optimistic 'tomorrows' become our now-gone 'yesterdays. 
What about all the things we let get away from us?  The 'priorities' we let get in the way of our motivations.  The words and feelings we never say.  The misunderstandings we never clear up.  The risk that keeps us from moving on.  The opportunities we never take.  The pride that holds us back.  The chances we never seek out.  The fear that keeps us from playing the game- the fear of failure; the fear of success. 
I'm definitely guilty of all these things.  And I think too often I just accept it as something that happens in life.  Everybodys tomorrows become their yesterdays from time to time, right?  But do they have to? 
I don't want mine to anymore.  I want to do the things I want to do.  Today.  Not tomorrow.  So. Cheers to that. 


In less thoughtful regards, we have a neighborhood attacker cat.  Mom named him Ballzy. .. I'll leave you to infer why.  Anyways.  He's this huge orange cat.  He's not fat, but he's incredibly muscular and he's approximately the size of a golder retriever puppy.  [Which is big for a cat.. if you have the same visual of a golden retreiver puppy as I do.]  Anyways.  He kills things.  And I woke up at 2am to him murdering something outside my window for about 5 minutes.  We've found victims in the form of squirrels and mice, and this morning Ballzy was caught with a bird in his mouth.  I understand that there's a food chain.. but.. I have a 4.5 pound dog.  And Ballzy could kill him.  So mom's threatening to shoot him.  We'll see what happens.

Speaking of my tomorrows not vanishing, I'm off to go for a run.  It's my third day with no sweets and all exercise.  And that's hard when you wake up to red velvet cake scraps from the neighbor.  But I'm doin it.  For as long as I decide.  Old-confident-Megan here I come.   

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Swing Your Tassle Right To Left.

Four years ago, I moved to the small quiet college town of Greenville, Illinois. 
I didn't really plan for an 8-hour away seemingly 'uncomfortable' small town with nothing but a college and a prison to become my home.  But.  It happened.  Greenville is my home sweet home. 


I woke up and went to Baccalaureate to hear the lovely Lisa Amundson speak her brilliant words.  You can find them here [http://amundsons.blogspot.com/2012/05/god-is-good-even-in-october.html].  You should (re)read it.  Anyways.  Then I ate lunch and beautified and lined up for commencement.  Then I listened to another wonderful speech by McClure where I learned (among other things) that the only thing we know is that we know nothing.  Then I watched my graduating class of 2012 walk across the stage and shake the president's hand.  Then proceeded to the chaos on Scott Field to snap some last photos.  I think I got pretty much everybody that was there that I loved.  Said some last words and temporary goodbyes.  Then it was packing time forever and roomie time and bed.  So.  That was Sunday. 

Some might say that Monday was the 'first day of my future'.  I might have to disagree.  Because it was Memorial Day and I was in the car until 10pm.  But whether it began my 'real future' or not, it was the day I left my home sweet home. 

I would really love to be Em's roommate again someday.  I'm so grateful for what our friendship has evolved to be.  The laughs, the jokes, the Wifeswap, the One Tree Hill, the animals, the Moto runs, the dance moves, the Lifetime commericals, the game nights... so much more, all go down in my book as part of the best year ever.  Man, Ens.  I love your heart. 

So.  I guess that's my 2 cents for graduation day.  I graduated.  So that's that.  So now begins my future.  *sigh*
Miss you, GC.  Hope to see you real soon. 


P.S.  Aren't these outfits the most flattering? 

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Moments.

It's weird.
At this moment in time of my life, I don't know what I want.
I've always known that moments and feelings are mostly impossible to describe.  And I think that's the beauty of feelings and moments.  [But I think I'll come back to that later.]  Anyways.  I'll do my best to describe it.
I've been having these brief moments on braindeadness.  And if you know much about me, that's a rarity- to have nothing moving through my head.  But the fact of the matter is that I have exactly one week from tomorrow to spend in this community cliche of a place called Greenville.  And that's both the most wonderful and the most sucky all at the same time.  It's the most intense form of bittersweet a person can feel.  Because, I'm very glad to go.  And I know it's time to go.  I feel old here and I feel like I don't belong.  And that's how I know it's time.  And I'm excited to go.  I'm excited to see what life is going to throw at me next.  And I have no doubt that it will be grand.
But. There's the whole comfortable thing.  There's something about leaving a place I've been so comfortable in for the past four years.  Leaving all of the different perspectives that I'm surrounded by here.  
There are people I wish I could spend more time with.  People that I still want to be here for.  So many memories that I made here.  So much comfort of being surrounded by people that are friendly. But. Life is life, yknow?
So yea.  There have been a lot of back and forth waves of all that.  [Sine and cosine waves... if you will]  



Now.  Back to these feelings and moments and the beauty of never quite being able to describe it all.  I think it's pretty neat at the same time it can be frustrating.  Because sometimes I really wish I could describe certain moments and feelings to share with people.  But.  It's all part of the beauty.  Also.  This quote from 'The Vow' is pretty great:  "The moment of impact.  The moment of impact proves potential for change.  Has ripple effects far beyond what we can predict.  Sending some particles crashing together.  Making them closer than before.  While sending others spinning off into great ventures.  Landing them where you never thought you'd find them.  That's the thing about moments like these.  You can't, no matter how hard you try, control how it's gonna affect you.  You just gotta let the colliding parts go where they may.  And wait.  For the next collision."


In other news, I've created my own coffee shop for the day.  I'm on my second cup of coffee.  I could use a new candle, though.  This one is losing it's power.  But it still makes for a wonderful  Probability and Statistics studying environment., along with my 8tracks playlist.  So.  It's back to the books until Blakeley gets here!
Speaking of Blake.  That reminds me.  I'm super pumped.  This next week will be filled with people I love.  Best friends and family.  All of the people that have made such an impact on who I am.  It's gonna be so grand.  So filled with conversation and giggles and hugs.

But for now.  It's back to the big ol' math book.

One more thing.  To hopefully make you smile at this sentimental bittersweet time.  



 

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

6 Little Thoughts.


Thought number 1. 
Does what doesn't kill you really actually make you stronger?  I don't think it really does.  I think that in a way, what doesn't kill us makes us 'softer' people.  Or at least for me that's how it goes.  I kind of see it as living life without regrets but using what could be seen as 'regrets' to learn from.  Sure, it means we're stronger in some ways.  But we gain strength along with other things.  We become stronger, softer, braver, wiser, kinder, better, ... so many other things.  It depends on the situation.  But they all shape us.. . if they don't kill us.  

Thought number 2. 
David Bazan.  I had a friend who used to challenge me to listen to lyrics of songs.  Not like your typical Chris Brown or Justin Beiber lyrics., but real lyrics that actually make you wonder.  Anyways.  David Bazan's got a lot of good lyrics like that.  And.  I love what he has to say on certain things.  He brings an interesting perspective.  Anyways.  This video is him talking about 'love songs'.  It might be boring if you've never listened to him, but.. I like it.  Particularly the part where he says: "The thing that defines real profound love is a timeline.  It's a vast amount of time.  Because you can communicate something in a moment to somebody that is utterly meaningless when you pull back and see it over time."  Well said, Bazan.  Well. Said.  


Thought number 3.
Bulls play tonight.  I'm a bit nervous because DRose is out and they're down 3-1.  So.  If they lose, they're out, if they don't, I keep rootin.  I'm trying to keep myself from picking a second team already to root for.  And., I haven't decided yet.  But.  It will either be the Heat, Spurs, or Mavs.  We'll see what happens.  

Thought number 4. I got to skype this lovely lady the other night.  It made my week.  Man.  I miss her heaps and gobs and piles.  I'm super excited to see her in a couple weeks.  I hope she's prepared for the biggest hug she's seen in years.  But.  I'm trying not to think of the fact that she'll be in Texas and I'll be in Wisconsin.  That's a sad realization.  But.  We're gonna write letters.  And.  Shayler always knows my heart without hardly saying three words.  So.  That's always a plus.
  
Thought number 5.  Expectations.  As a disclaimer, you should know that this thought doesn't come from any current personal experiences, [although we've all had our experiences with this time and time again].
Don't put your expectations in other people.  They will always let you down.  I know that sounds like such a Debbie Downer thing to say... but it is what it is.  I think it's okay to put 'faith' in people.  For you to see their potential and blah blah blah.  But.  Expectation is a different thing.  Besides the fact that.. we really don't deserve to be expecting anything from anyone... we just shouldn't.  It's not fair to them and it's not fair to you.  

Thought number 6.  I graduate in 19 days.  What the what?!?!



Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Sentimental/Freak-out Mode.

So.  I'm graduating in 25 days.  And that's crazy.  Not only is it crazy, but it's sending me into sentimental/freak-out mode.  I've been here for 4 years.  I've put a lot of work into my education.  I've put a lot of love into my relationships.  Here's where sentimental mode comes in.  4 years makes a lot of memories.  I've been replaying them all in my head lately.  My first and second year here were spent mostly with people who I don't really keep in touch with.  But I sure made some awesome memories.  That seems so incredibly long ago.  I've grown so much.  But.  That's a conversation; not a blog post.  Anyways.  My third and fourth year (this one) have been spent with people that I hope to be 'around' for a while.  So.  I could name a bunch of memories.  But they probably wouldn't make sense, and it'd make me more sentimental.

There's also freak-out mode along with this graduation thing. And most days., I'm all good.  Graduation is a good thing.  It's an accomplishment.  But it's not a ticket to whatever I want to do.  It's more like a few punches on a punch card.  And once I get to 10 then I get a free coffee.  So I'm kind of there.  But now comes more.  There's definite searching to do and experience to gain.  And several of my peers are several steps ahead of me.  They've applied to millions of jobs.  Not
 literal 'millions' but.. you catch my drift.  But honestly, I've got so much that happens on a day to day basis that has to be prioritized.. so.. I'm trying not to beat myself up too much about it.  But yes., I'm freaking out a little bit in the back of my head.  Because out of all my friends, I feel like I'm the only one on my specific 'track'.  So.  A tiny bit alone.  A tiny bit afraid.  But not too worried.  I've got people who love me a whole bunch.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Letter Three.


It's about time for another letter. 



Mom and Dad, 
I'm not sure when exactly it was that I realized that you were the best parents I could have asked for.  But.  Somewhere along the line, I transitioned from thinking that parents punish their kids because they hated them, to realizing that you're two of the wisest people I know.
Thanks for teaching me to love.  An honest, unconditional love that I try to live out.  Thanks for teaching me to listen.  Thanks for teaching me patience.  Thanks for helping me realize that life isn't all about me, but that occasionally, I have to do some things for my sanity.  Thanks for standing in awe over my talents- whether it be that first grade piece of 'art' with mom in her Cherokee sweatshirt, or whether it be the first time I came home and showed you how to add letters.  Thanks for supporting me in all that I do.  Thanks for understanding.  I honestly can't think of a time where you've not understood or when you've not let me explain until you understood.  Thanks for making sacrifice after sacrifice for me.  Thanks for taking me camping.  Thanks for teaching me that helping out around the house won't kill me.  Thanks for teaching me what's fair, and the fact that life isn't always.  Thanks for letting me paint my rooms bright colors.  Thanks for providing my friends a loving place to hang out.  Thanks for teaching me that 'modest is hottest', and that wearing sunscreen is a good idea.  Thanks for giving me saltines and 7up with every tummy-ache.  Thanks for teaching me to ride a bike.  Thanks for always detecting the 'fuzzy eye'.  Thanks for making me laugh all the time.  Thanks for letting me cry for no reason -if that's what I need.  Thanks for making me dirt-cake for all my birthdays.  Thanks for making pizza dough with me.  Thanks for letting me come grocery shopping and throw unnecessary items in the cart.  Thanks for teaching me to floss.  Mostly, thanks for raising me with the values you did.  Thanks for not sheltering me, but instead, being able to trust me.  Thanks for stressing the points of honesty, trust, patience, and respect.  Those are big ones. 
Anyways.  I could go on forever.  So.  Thanks for all the love you've given me.  Sorry for the 'troubles' I've caused and the arguments I've instigated.  Thanks for loving me so incredibly unconditionally.  

P.S. Thanks for the blue eyes

Love always,
Baby Jane

Monday, April 23, 2012

Mike Chadwick.

Thanks to Kelly Rae's recital, I've had "Who Are We Fooling?" by Brooke Fraser stuck in my head for days.  First.  Kelly Rae is absolutely amazing.  The most beautiful voice hands down I have ever heard.  Second.  Caleb proposed.  And she said yes.  And it was beautiful.  Third.  These song lyrics by Brooke Fraser blew my mind.  "We both agreed on where we should go., but not how to get there."... "If it's not either of us tell me who are we fooling?"  Really though.  Look up the song.  And the lyrics.  


In other news, I finally bought 'The Ugly Truth'.  It's okay.  You can judge me if you'd like.  I'm aware that it's not the most 'fruitful' movie.  But I sure do love it.  Mostly because it's just good, but partially because I relate to it a little bit. And Mike Chadwick in the form of Gerard Butler is a personal potential dream boat float of mine.  Sorry if that didn't make sense.  Sometimes that's what happens when I withhold thoughts.  


Lots of randoms today:
  • The last several episodes of Grey's have been so wonderful.  Emotionally grand.  
  • I really need to get my guitar back out.  Tune it.  And play it.  
  • I could go for a nice long bike ride with my daddio right about now.  
  • Rats teeth never stop growing.  That's why they grind them.  (Thanks Jules). 
  • Em's art show is the Sunday!!! I'm so pumped!
  • Tea is my new coffee.  At least I think so. 
  • This mix on 8tracks is my new favorite:   http://8tracks.com/123music456/exams-are-life-ruiners-they-ruin-people-s-lives
  • I came across this quote by Edgar Allen Poe: "And being so young and dipped in folly, I fell in love with melancholy."  Now, I'm not ashamed at the fact that I often google words.  My vocabulary isn't the largest.  Anyways.  Melancholy has an even more negative connotation than I thought.  "Sadness or depression of the spirits. Gloom".  I just always assumed it meant more on the lines of 'mellowly contemplative'.  Guess not. 
  • This is for Nikweeta.  I know she likes Maya. 




Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Bernhoft.

I don't often dish out thoughts on relationships.  But I feel like it.  So I will.  First- my disclaimer: My thoughts switch a lot.  And where my thoughts are right now haven't always been and definitely won't always be.  And my thoughts definitely don't stand for everyone.
'Being with someone' sounds so complicated right now.  I think a lot of people are naive about relationships and how much work and commitment a good actual relationship takes.  How long can a relationship last without substance?  ... Not very.
I've come to realize that I'm really weird and I've got a lot of quirks. [Cue music: "The best kind of girl... is a quirky girl"] But really- weird isn't always the easiest to love.  So why does it make sense to search for somebody to love you and all the weird things about you?  That's not something that you can force on someone.  It's their choice.  Just like it's your choice to love someone and all they 'entail'.
Anyways.  That's just my two boring cents on that.  



In other news, I'm addicted to One Tree Hill.  Yes.  I'm emotionally attached to fictional characters and bad acting but I am not ashamed.  I'm now on Season 2.  The acting is getting progressively better.  I have hope for the future seasons.  Anyways.  I'd marry Lucas Scott if I could.  And I'm mad at Haley for breaking Nathan's heart. 


Randoms:
-Thursday night I get to watch 3 hours of the Voice with Nikweeta.  That'll get me through a few days.  

-When tabacco and coffee were starting to be imported back in the day, the verdict was out on how 'safe' coffee was.  People saw it as a potentially dangerous stimulant.  Could you imagine if coffee would have been a 'drug'? 
-This video is awesome. 

Thursday, April 12, 2012

A Day In The Life.

Normally, if you'd ask me what's gone through my brain in the past ten minutes, I would most often tell you ... "a lot".  Anyways.  I realized that my thoughts were starting to trample over each other.  I would think of something.  Then I'd think of something else. Like.. "This would be a nice thing to do for this person" or.. "Oh. That'd be a good thing to look into to do for my life." But.. then I keep thinking of other things., and all of my thoughts get trampled.  I'd say.. about 67% of them.  So. I decided to try to not neglect my poor thoughts for a day and commit to writing down whatever nonsense came to my head. Or at least some of it.  
So. This is what I got. (And I warn you., some thoughts seem to disconnected. My brain is a strange place): 
"They had nothing but the people of God and the word of God. And strangely that was enough." Jackson said that in chapel. Loved it.
Next, I think I was accused of being too complex.  I was slightly insulted and because.., I do my best to live a fairly simple life.  Maybe someday I'll be convicted to be more simple and own all of three shirts.  Oh well.  We'll see what God tells me.
I've always felt awkward about fist pumps/hand shakes.  How do you react? Everyone does them a different way.  Is it a fist pump? Is it a hand shake?  Is it a fistpump-handshake-combo? Just awkward.
Then. I go into work, which leads me to the union for coffee.  I'm still thinking about this 'simplicity' thing.  How simple am I really?  Simple 'enough'?  Compared to what though?  People's standards?  My standards?  God's standards?  Anyways. I know black coffee would be the most simple.  But.  I don't like it that way.  Vanilla syrup.  Surely that's more simple than caramel or hazelnut right?  Then sugar.  Which reminds me of how I prefer actual sugar as opposed to artificial sweeteners.  Then I was reminded of what Blakeley told me about artificial sweeteners living in fat cells and creating new homes when they don't have enough fat cells to live in.  Gross.  Then I was reminded of a Condescending Wonka that says "You drink Diet soda? You must be so healthy."  Ha.  Anyways.  Then I pay for my coffee and I thank Union John for putting in the literal two cents so I can have even dollar change yet again.  And I hope that when I tell him to have a good day he knows that I sincerely mean it.

And. That leads us to about 10am.  So I'll stop because that's already a lot of rambles.

Anyways.  Embishop gave me this picture.  And I obviously love it.  






Thursday, April 5, 2012

This Little Guy.

I made the excellent decision of skipping class and sleeping in this morning.  Then I took my time and made an egg sandwich on a bagel and a side of coffee.  Now I'm finishing off an episode of Celebrity Apprentice as I wait til the last minute to head for Spanish.  Then it's Prob and Stats time, and then it's time to hit the road.  Jules and I are headed to stay at Blake's tonight!  Then tomorrow, I get to see my sister.  I haven't seen her since January!  On Saturday, my parents get back from Florida, which happens to be my dad's birthday.  Sunday will be Easter mixed with birthday celebrations.  Also.  I'm so excited to see this lil puppy of mine.   4.5 pounds of pure cuteness and love.
Sorry I have no other thoughts that the fact that I'm so excited to go home.  But. That's simply all I can think about.  Wisconsin here I come!





Friday, March 30, 2012

Condescending Wonka.

Here are just a few waves of randomness floating around in my brain.  


"In The Air Tonight" and "N*ggas In Paris" have been stuck in my head all day.  Please don't judge me.  It's just a fact.  


The 'Empirical Rule' means something completely different in Western Civ than in Probability and Statistics.  I won't define them because I don't care much about the first and you probably don't care much about the latter.  Same goes for "exposition" and "x-position".  Same things.  Different things.  Of course., I always think "x-position" and I've practically forgotten what the other means.  


I've been watching American Idol.  I'm just now finding out the top 13.  Yes yes yes., I do realize that I am way far behind.  So far, I've been in love with Phillip Phillips, Joshua Ledett, and Heejun.  


I really love the song "Simple Song" by the Shins.  Also, I love 'Stay With Me' by Rod Steward.  Old song., new discovery.    


I'm super pumped to see my sister.  One of the reasons is because I really need a haircut.  But.  The main reason is that I miss her incredibly.  I haven't seen my family since January.  That's a long time for me.  


I've discovered 'Condescending Wonka' on twitter.  So funny.  Probably because I love sarcasm.  Here are a few of my favorites:  " You got Starbucks? OMG, please post a picture on instagram." "I'm so glad you typed your opinion in all caps.  Now I know how passionate and serious you are."  "Oh, you own a Northface?  You must go on so many adventures."  "Oh you say cray instead of crazy? I bet you came up with that all on your own."  And. I'll stop. Because I could go on forever. 


Here's my ponderment for the day: Is John Mayer right? Is it really better to say too much than never to say what we need to say again? 

You're A Snowflake.

"Someday we'll know if love can move a mountain. Someday we'll know why the sky is blue. Someday we'll know why I wasn't meant for you.  Someday we'll know why Samson loved Delilah..." But will we?  I'm not so sure we will.  I'm not so sure it's our job to figure everything out because I don't believe we can.  I think the reason people try to figure a lot of things out is because they're not content with not knowing.  And while I do believe we should search for some things, I'm not sure we're supposed to search for everything.  I think there will always be unanswered questions.  I suppose knowing the difference between what we're supposed to figure out and what we're not becomes the hard part.  But sometimes we just need to suck it up and be content in our discontentness (not a word, I know). Because eventually, it will all work itself out.  


Now, along the thought of individuality.  My youth Pastor used to say, "You're unique! Just like everybody else!"  Of course he said it to make us laugh, but I believe it's got an awful lot of truth.  I KNOW it's cliche, but seriously.  No two people are the same.  Just. like. snowflakes. So how does it make sense to try to be?  How many times have we been told this?  "Be yourself."...  "We're each a part of the body of Christ."... "If your friends jump off a bridge, does that mean you should?"  But.  We're not the best at listening.  Our own personal situations can't be defined by someone elses.  We may react to situations and feel the same way about certain things sometimes, but it's not going to be the same 100% of the time.  And when we try to cookie cut things, it can get messier.  So.  Don't try to 'be' someone else.  Sure., survey the crowd and pick an opinion you appreciate.  But don't forget your identity.  


Also, I've decided to reinstate randomness into my blog again.. as if I don't already have enough. Anyways. You know what I mean. 

  • In Japan, Kit Kat has 28 flavors. Including sushi and wasabi. Impressive., but gross. 
  • I got to watch the Voice with my Nikweeta tonight. And., it ended on Cee-lo making an awful decision., but any time with my luf is a good time. 
  • Tomorrow is the weekend. And I get to hang out with Michael and Steph on Saturday. Pumped. 

Monday, March 26, 2012

My Day. My Thoughts. My Luf.

Well.  Today's a pretty good day I think. Considering. I've got tons of stuff to do but my mentality seems to be good enough (thus far) to do most of it successfully. I've calculated that I have about 7 hours worth of actual work to do.  So.. since I can't get it all done.. how much I sacrifice of it will be my choice.  But. Before I get too focused on my homework...  


A Random Thought: Has my path of mathematics drawn me away from my passion to care for people? Of course I care for people.  A lot. But I care a lot for the people that I care about, yknow? I used to have more of a passion for all pepole.  I used to know how to appeal to more people's needs and to guide them.  Once, I wanted to be a social worker.  And now when I think of all that goes with that, there's no way.  Not that I wouldn't care for the people, because I would.  But. It's more a matter of that I've lost some of my means and understanding to do so.
Not sure where I'm going with all of this. But. Just a thought I had. 




In other news. I have this friend named Nikweeta. I do NOT know where I would be without this lovely lady.  What appears to may have been an 'accidental' friendship turns out to be one of the greatest pieces of evidence of God in my life.  I can't believe how much she cares and I'm often astonished by how much she loves me.  Last week, I was spoiled and got to spend 3 days with her. That's a rarity in our busy schedules but it made me so incredibly happy.  Words can hardly describe how great she is. But. I'm so blessed to have her in my life and I cannot WAIT to be in her and Jordan's wedding and see two of my favorite people ever be wed!   


Also. If you're not sure what 8tracks is. You should know. And listen to this playlist. (and no. I'm not a hipster) http://8tracks.com/smurph/hipster-swag 

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Thoughts At Panera.

First, I would like to acknowledge that it's been forever and a day since I've blogged.  I'm aware that's not acceptable, but.. I'm over it.  

Secondly, I'm at Panera (St. Louis Bread Co. . . or whatever) and I am [obviously] not doing my homework. But. I am getting there. So that's a plus.
I would like to say that one of the workers here seems to have some trust issues.  First, she came up really close to my face to ask my to put my shoes back on. And no.. I don't really see the problem because my feet are clean... but.. okay; I'll listen.  But.., when she was doing her second round of cleaning, she looks at my face, and then immediately at my shoes. My goodness.  She could at least try to not make it obvious. So, my conclusion is that something in her life has caused her to not trust people my age.  That's unfortunate.  



Also.  Julie and I just had a little discussion on oldest children and youngest children and stereotypes. I must say that no one in my life has helped me acknowledge my own thinking track as much as Julie.  Anyways.  Julie's a fan of proven stereotypes.  I am not.  I don't agree with stereotypes mainly because I've never really fit them.  And also because I'm mathematically minded and I question and analyze the crap out of things.  Julie was a psych major, so when it comes to people and analyzing them, there's not much other choice than stereotypes.  Anyways.  This took a tangent into definitions of words.  Julie and I have found that we define a lot of words differently.  Example: spoiled. To me, this word has an incredibly negative connotation. To Julie, it does not.  She says that spoiled is something that is brought upon a person.  It's not a matter of fault, it's just a matter of the situation.  So.  I realized that Julie's definition of 'spoiled' is the situation at hand.  No ones faults. No ones reactions. Just the situation.  I, on the other hand, define 'spoiled' as the reaction to the situation.  I relate 'spoiled-ness' with unappreciative-ness [not real words., I know], and therefore, spoiled has a negative connotation to me.  Anyways. People define a lot of things differently.  So. Pay attention to that in life.  It's rather interesting.