Thursday, December 15, 2011

Reminder.


So.. I was thinking it was time for a picture, and I found this one.  But really. This is important. And while I forget it at least twice a day, it's always good to be reminded. 

Speaking of reminders, I found this quote:‎"People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway." -Mother Teresa 
Shoot dang.  That's convicting. And difficult.  But it reminds us to try a little harder.

Today should be a 'relaxing' day.  I've got a review for Abstract Algebra in.. ten minutes.  Then I tutor, have a Walkabout reunion, do rounds, and hang out with the ever-so-missed Nikweeta. Gosh. Can't wait. And I'll throw in some watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. with Ens and Shayler.  It's gonna be a good day.

Randoms:
  • Cannot WAIT to hug my sister. 
  • Perspiration is odorless; it is the bacteria on the skin that creates an odor.  Hmm. That's gross when I think about it.  
  • I love my friends. And playing 'Just Dance' with them.  


Monday, December 12, 2011

God Is A Mathematician. And I Am A Girl.

Warning: Contains complaining.  


TODAY. I am a girl. Of course.. everyday I'm a girl. But today, I really am.  Last week, Jamie phrased it the most flawless way ever.  She said that.. we don't like the way girls act so we act like boys. But [since we're only so strong], every once in a while a girl sneaks in.  So, this is the girl sneakin in.  I know right., you'd think I was never in COR401 learning about demolishing gender stereotypes all. semester. long.  Oh well.  I feel like I'm annoyingly emotional, none of my clothes look good, I wish I never cut my hair, and I wanna run a million miles.  Or maybe just 10.  
Anyways. 
Here are a couple truths.  
I miss matrices and geometric constructions, 0.5mm pencils are way better than 0.7, and, last week was the longest week of my semester.  Safe to say.  And that's partially because I'm irresponsible, but partially because it just was.  This Thanksgiving to Christmas break stretch is the most unmotivated a brain can ever be.  Especially when you're a math major in your 5th year of college.  I have a program to write by this Friday -in which I'm way lost, stupid, and far behind. Then it's finals time.  And. I hardly care.  


So. Since I hate complaining (and I'm fully aware that I just spent two paragraphs doing so), let me try to add some positivity.  
-A week from today, I'll be done.  Merry Christmas to me. I only have to care for one.more.week.  
-My friends are the best in the world. Seriously. I don't know how people get through life without friends like mine.
-Once I step away from math, I really do like it.  It's just all too blurry right now.  But. I think it's fun to wonder if God is a mathematician (answer being... DUH!) And. I think it's funny how people can't see how mathematics is both discovered and invented.  Silly people.     

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Peppe Luv.

Warning. This is a Debbie Downer post.

Dear Peppe Luv,
You were the greatest dog I ever could have wished for.  I remember when we got you when I was in first grade and I told Ms. Scheckleman that I had a new brother and she thought that mom had a baby.  That was funny.  I remember how you used to help me sing "Go Jonny Go".  I'd sing and lean you back on the two drum beats and you'd growl.  You hated me for that but, we sounded pretty great together.  I remember how we'd celebrate our birthdays together every year because yours was leap day and mine was March 1st.  You looked real cute in those birthday hats.  I remember how I'd dress you up in clothes.  You didn't like that much either, but you got used to it.  My favorite was the jean vest and the bottle of Mendota Springs. 
But most importantly, I remember how you loved me.  How excited you got for me to take you on walks, how you greeted me everytime I came home, and how you would comfort me when I would cry.  You always knew. 
Thanks for giving me 16 years of love.  And thanks for not letting me see you get too weak.  You knew I couldn't handle it.  I can't say I was ready for you to go., of course.. I never would be. 
Gosh I miss you. 
Love you, Peps.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

A Semester of Realizations.

Realization #1: Genuine peace in all circumstances. (This is the boring realization). It sounds cliche, but I realized that I was letting other peoples circumstances affect my own.  And don't get me wrong, I love listening to people.  I love that people in my life trust me enough to come to me with whatever is going on.  That being said, I found that if I was happy, I felt like I couldn't be if one of my friends was sad.  And if I was 'sad', I felt like I couldn't talk to my happy friends for the reason that it might bring them down.  So I decided that I am going to just be happy all the time.  And that means being intentional about being happy instead of just not being sad.


Realization #2: Grilled Cheese Theory and the Power of Possibility.  Well.  If you're not familiar with my Grilled Cheese Theory, that's because I need to give it a better name.  It probably should be something more along the lines of... the I-Didn't-Want-It-But-I-Thought-I-Did Theory.  Obviously I need work on the naming of my theories.  Anyways.  All it means is that there are certain things that we decide that we like.  (This was invented with the example of males).  So we like this 'thing'.  And day after day, we keep liking it.  And in the process of telling ourselves that we like this 'thing', we've actually stopped liking it.  But, we hardly realize that we've stopped.  Until.. we finally figure out that we actually don't like this 'thing' anymore, and we only thought we still liked it because once upon a time.. we liked it.  Anyways.  Turns out, this I-Didn't-Want-It-But-I-Thought-I-Did Theory is real.  For me anyways.  Because I 'liked' this guy.  [I kinda hate the word 'like' in this context, p.s.] He wasn't more than a friend to me, nor did I ever pursue anything beyond that, but he's just a solid good guy and inevitably.. feelings were developed.  Anyways.  This is where the 'possibility' factor come in.  Once I was honest with him about where I was, and the possibilty went away, I felt so refreshed.  So relieved that the Grilled Cheese Theory was true in this instance and kind of instantly, I moved on. And that's that one. 

Realization #3:  I don't want to teach.  If you read my last post, you can see the details, but.. basically, my passion is for Math and not for teaching it.  Therefore, I don't see the logic in learning to teach anymore, so I'm ditching Education as part of my education.  Mathematics it is.  [You can choose to relate this to the Grilled Cheese Theory as well, because.. it's true]


And those are my realizations.  In about 10 minutes, I'll be taking a Spanish placement test to see how I .. well.. place in the Spanish class-taking process.  Whether or not I tell you the results depends on my outcome.  
Soon after that, I get to roadtrip to Nashville with two of my besties, Ens and Blakeley.  Blake's sister is getting married tomorrow, so that's the main reason to our adventure.  That and to have the weekend of our lives and forgetting about responsibilites.  //

Saturday, November 5, 2011

One Bad Apple.

Warning- I've nearly forgotten how to blog so this will probably be a huge combination of random thoughts.   


Right now, I'm watching 'Limitless' with Ens and Shayler.  It's pretty interesting so far.  I wonder how awesome I'd be if I could access that much of my brain.  Dang.  I'd be so smart.  


In other news, it's 8:47 but it feels like 11:30pm at least.  I don't know what's happening to me but I feel like a grama some days.  Speaking of Grama- I really need to call her soon.  Also, it feels like Sunday.  Which is great, because it's not- so that just makes for a nice long weekend.  Speaking of weekends- I like what my weekends have become.  Just sittin and chillin with my friends. Amen for relaxation.  


In other bigger news, I'm changing my major.  From Math Education to strictly Mathematics.  My passion isn't for teaching, simply put.  And I don't see any logic in spending a whole semester student teaching and putting in all that work if it's not what I want to do with my life.  You could say "Well, what will you do with a Math major?" or.. "Why would you drop Education when you've come this far?" And to that I'd say, "There are lots of things I could do with a Math major.  And no, I can't pin-point exactly what those things are or what my dream job is, but I know that I don't want to teach.  So I'm trusting that I'll find something.  Grad school would be neat.  Maybe someday teaching college.  But I'll work for a while first until I have money for grad school." and then I'd say, "I've come a long way with Education, but I still have a crazy long way to go.  And Student Teaching is one heck of a thing to do if I'm not passionate for it."
So.  Yes, I'm scared.  But that comes from graduating college- not from graduating college with a Math degree.  Real life and the job market scares me. Going into the real world by myself is just scary.  But it'll be here before I know it.  And I'm trusting.  


So.  Tomorrow I have to brush up on the four years of Spanish that I took four years ago.  Then take a placement test next week to see how I can fulfill my Language requirement since I switched to a BA instead of a BS.  


And. That's the short update on Megan Jane.  //

Monday, October 17, 2011

Mistakes and Forgiveness.


I wrote this awhile ago. Found it again.

I understand that we are all imperfect people.  On a day to day basis we make mistakes.  Simple mistakes like forgetting to include someone to big mistakes like putting our hope in things or situations that we know will disappoint us again and again.  And something awesome about making mistakes is that we can learn from them.  Once we get our heart broken, we learn to stand the breeze a bit more before falling over next time.  When we poke ourselves on a rose, next time we'll be a bit more hesitant to touch it.  But sometimes these mistakes aren't that simple.  We repeatedly let down the ones we love.  We take for granted our families, we assume things, we say things we don't believe.  We tell God we put our trust in him but then we turn and try to win our prizes over by ourselves.  But what's great about these big mistakes is that we are forgiven.  Not forgiven in a way that we can mess up again and again because we know we'll be forgiven; but forgiven in the way that we get a chance to try harder the next day.  We can try harder to love someone that just makes us cringe, we can try harder to hold doors for the person behind us, and we can try harder to just make people smile.  Because what is this life about after all?  Are we here for our own well being, or is life something greater than that?  And I know that I made millions of mistakes today, and I am sure I will do the same tomorrow, but the glory in that is that in Christ I can be forgiven, and next time, I can try that much harder for Him who first forgave me.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Update.

It's probably too soon for a blogging break from homework, but I'm taking it anyways.  I have a crazy amount of homework to do this weekend.  But the fact that it's Saturday before noon and I've already started my homework... AND I don't have class Monday.. well for me, that's amazing.  Usually my intentions about doing homework on Saturday fails and I end up doing it all Sunday and regretting my decision.  

In other news, I'm home for the weekend.  And it's grand.  Yesterday I almost ate a whole block of baby colby cheese just because I missed it that much.  And last night I watched 'Freedom Writers' with my parents.  And not only is that movie amazing and inspirational, I got to watch it with my family.  And tonight my sister is spending the night and we're all going to carve pumpkins and eat apple crisp and hopefully play games.  Oh. My. Gosh.  I'm so excited! And tomorrow is church and football watching with my Daddio; followed by watching the Amazing Race with him.  Man.  This is too good to be true.  Then Monday will be a nice lazy day for me which will probably consist of finishing up some homework.  And then around 5, I head back to school.  

In more other news, I'm kind of debating getting rid of my facebook.  A few weeks ago, I got rid of it for a few days in a row- just because I was sick of it and the constant state of our society always having to be updated by things.  And then when I got back on facebook, I almost felt guilty about it.  And then this lady came to talk at our COR lecture about how technology today affects us.  And it's crazy, really- how we all can have this online persona of who we want to be and not really be that.  And although I don't feel like I try to be a different person on facebook,.. I suppose we all do a little.  I mean, I delete ugly pictures of myself that people put up because I want the world to think I always look good.  But really.  Who always looks good?  No one I know.  But it's just all the pictures and all the unnecessary updating that just makes me almost feel disgusted.  And I do believe that the people who love me and want to keep in touch with me would do that without facebook.  In fact, it may even cut out the superficial relationships.  So yea.  That's my thought process with that.  So we'll see.  
Back to homework. 

P.S.  Listen to 'Let It Be' by Kris Allen.  So. Good.      

Friday, September 30, 2011

Cuties.


























If these guys don't make you smile, I'm not sure what could.  

Monday, September 26, 2011

Therapy.


Last week was one of the crazy busiest weeks of my life.  And although it was a productive type of busy., busy will always be busy.  And slightly stressful.
So.  What got me through last week was the fact the my best friend in the whole entire world came to visit this past weekend.  No one can make me feel better than she can.  No one cares about me quite that much.  No one loves me quite that unconditionally.  No one brings out the real me like she does.  She's just the greatest human I know.  Well., her and my dad.  Anyways.  Seeing her was therapeutic for me.  And now I think I should be happy at least for a straight month.  
So thanks, Beaks.  I miss you already.  



Thursday, September 22, 2011

Wayne.

"Rain on my head- call it brain stormin."  Sorry Lil Wayne., that's not how rainy days work.  
First you should know that this is from a disgusting song called 'Motivation' by Kelly Rolland and Lil Wayne.  And I've only heard that song because I have a good friend who really likes these kinds of songs.  Not mentioning any names.. (you know who you are).  Anyways.  I don't like Lil Wayne normally., mostly because he's dirty and seems to have some weird kind of nasal problem.  But for some reason in this song, I think he's clever.  In a stupid way of course.  And although 'rain on my head- call it brain stormin' is a clever line, that's just not how it works.
Second you should know that today is a rainy day.  That happens a lot here in Greenville which is why I really need to find my umbrella.  Anyways.  Before this rain started, my intentions were to be working on Abstract Algebra this very moment.  But then I went to class and got tired and saw the rain.  So.  I'm drinking coffee on my couch-that-hugs-you couch and blogging.  Then in an hour, I tutor.  Then I'll finally be productive until 7:30, when I tutor again.  Then I'm gonna have pre-vesps coffee with Nikweeta and then have a homework party with Nikweeta.  At least that's the plan for now.   



Big Mama Wayne. She's our mouse.  First her name was Lil Wayne.  Then Shayla saw her and said she was fat so we decided its either gotta be Big Wayne or lil Mama Wayne (who's pregnant with a million lil mouse babies).  So.  Big Mama Wayne is what we call her.  And she likes to eat.  Man does she ever.  She ate my granola bars and got into my brownie mix.  And I'm all about house pets, don't get me wrong.  I even wanted a lil pet mouse when I was younger.  But, I just don't have the budget to feed a family of two.  She hasn't been seen lately, though.  I think she heard the talk about mouse traps.  


In other news.  Lately, Gavin Degraw has been the voice here in our room.  His new album is grand and his voice is angelic.  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bafneiRErEc&feature=related


Also.  Here's another man with the voice of an angel.  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejQ08ddAdQU

Randoms:

  • You inhale about 700,000 of your own skin flakes each day.  I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have even told you.  I love random facts., but this one crosses the line. 
  • I taught a lesson to my seventh graders today on inequalites.  My teacher was impressed.  That was encouraging.  
  • In Idaho, you may not fish on a camel's back.  Silly state laws. 
  • I love my roommate, Ens.  We just have the best tines.   
  • BLAKELEY IS COMING TOMORROW!!!



Friday, September 9, 2011

Caterpillar Astonishment.


So.  I'm flying home this weekend.  Not home exactly, but close to home.  Close enough to see my cousin get married.  Anyways.  That's besides the point.
Right now, I'm on the plane.  And to be honest, I always get a little anxious before I fly.  I say that like I fly a lot., but I don't.  No frequent flyers miles here.  But. I have flown before.  And, well, what can I say?  I've seen movies.  I've seen part of LOST.  I've watched the news.  Planes crash and terrorists exist.  And I know the probability is crazy low, but still, there exists a probability.  Plus. Honestly, how dependable does it sound to put that many people in that heavy of a machine, and throw them up in the sky?  Doesn't sound crazy dependable to me.
Anyways.  I go through security and find gate A2, get my Starbucks Passion Tea, and wait at the gate to board.  Finally I get safely seated in seat 19A and wait for 19B to arrive.  But.  They didn't show, so now I've got this nice extra space next to me.  Anyways.  It's time for take off so I just lean back and prepare to glance out the conveniently placed window. 
So. We're off.  And here's where it gets amazing.  Man.  There aren't really words to even explain it.  But.  There's no way there's not a God.  No. Way.  If anybody has ever flown, they have to know.  The cars get so little and the buildings get so small.  You can see the fields and the lakes and the big rivers.  So many awesome shaped patterns.  And I know I'm somewhat of a mathematical nerd, but that kind of geometry is awesome.  And everything just keeps shrinking.  And that's where you're reminded how HUGE God is.  How big and mighty.  How man can never take credit for this kind of creation.  We're way too stupid to do anything like that. 
And then it all continues to shrink, and you can see that you're coming near the clouds.  Like they're a ceiling.  And then I look over, and the sun is just gleaming through some clouds in this amazing ray of colors.  Pink, orange and yellow mainly.  And that's when you're reminded of the beauty that God possesses.  Once again.  No WAY man could ever do that.  We're too busy to stop and think about beauty these days, none the less come up with it.  But God wasn't.  God is brilliantly beautiful. 
Then it's time to go higher up through the clouds.  And today, they look like sheep's wool.  And then I'm reminded how inviting God is.  Because I just wanted to run and frolic barefoot on those clouds.  As lame as that sounds. 
And then the flight attendant brings me peanuts.  And, while I'm sure the bags of peanuts have gotten much smaller than they used to be, peanuts are my new favorite snack these days.  So.  Yum to that.

Lately, I've been feeling like I just haven't been moving.  I just felt like my life has just been sitting.  I mean, I'm happy.  So content.  Wouldn't really change anything.  I love my friends.  I love my family.  I love my life.  But I just have been needing more God.  And I don't really talk about that much at all.  It's just a 'reverent' sort of thing to me I guess.  And I only talk about it with the right people in the right moments.  So, when people ask me 'how I'm doin with God', I just say "good" and we move on.  But I wasn't satisfied.  But this.  This is awesome.  I needed this reminder of God's beauty and strength and love.  And it's still right next to me.  I'm on sunset level and the clouds are below me looking like the most inviting fluffy rug ever to exist.   
It's like the caterpillar astonishment from Forgotten God by Francis Chan.  He asks his wife if she ever has wondered what goes through a caterpillars head.  He says, "For all its caterpillar life, it crawls around a small patch of dirt and up and down a few plants.  Then one day it take a nap.  A long nap.  And then, what in the world must go through its head when it wakes up to discover it can fly?  What happened to its dirty, plump little worm body?  What does it think when it sees its tiny new body and gorgeous wings?  As believers, we ought to experience this same kind of astonishment when the Holdy Spirit enters our bodies.  We should be stunned in disbelief over becoming a 'new creation' with the Spirit living in us.  As the caterpillar finds its new ability to fly, we should be thrilled over our Spirit-empowered ability to live differently and faithfully."         
And it's this.  This is the astonishment that we're supposed to be living in. 
So.  I can only pray that we all live in that astonishment everyday.   Because it's there everyday.  And it's strong.  And it's beautiful.  And it's ever so inviting.  

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Right Now.

I... kinda wanna drink this.  Javachip frap with peppermint. 


I believe this:

I think these guys are real cute:


And.. I unfortunately kinda miss this whole 'idea'.  Still happy though. Single's not bad at all. 

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Day Two.

Well.  Day two of classes down.  It was good.  And by that I mean, I think I'll make it through this year.  It's just that this whole 'school' thing is getting kind of old.  But.  I think it'll be okay.  


I'm not gonna bore you with talking about which classes I have.  But.  I am kind of excited to pick up a sharp pencil and solve some math problems.  Nerd? Sure. Label me. I can be okay with that.  


Here's what you need to know.  Spotify.com.  It's like, a big ol' magical itunes that let's you listen to whatever you want.  Grand.  And, I'm currently enjoying it thanks to my roomie's advice. 
Speaking of my roomie, we're about to head to the coffee shop to get some homeworking done.  So.  That I will do.  
Adios. 

Monday, August 29, 2011

Never Has Something So Smoky Been So Clear.

Well.  Long time no blog.  Sorry about that; if you've ever once enjoyed reading one.  Not incredibly much has happened too recently in my life.  Still just cruisin happily on through life. 


Walkabout happened.  And that was awesome.  We had a 50 mile trail with beautiful lakes and creek crossings, all through the Smoky Mountains.  And I must say, it was quite the exercise.  Walkabout is one of those things that you can't really explain unless you've done it.  So, if you're a walkabouter, that's about the only way you can understand.  But. This is what I learned. 
First, I learned that I view God/Father love, and Daddio/Father love as some sort of trade-off thing.  And I know it's not, but I pin-pointed that that was a struggle for me.  Like, I love my earthly father so incredibly much, and I don't always view God as a 'real' Father.  Like, I feel like, there's a certain percentage of love that I have to divide between the two.  And I know that's not real, nor is it a good view to have about it.  But., at least identifying that is a step I guess.  
Also. I learned that God speaks to me pretty silently.  Like, I think certain people need to be spoke to through dreams and big storms and stuff like that, but maybe God speaks to all of us just enough to have the kind of faith that we have, and I think that I just need the little thoughts and whispers and such.  So that's that. 
Lastly, I was reminded that God teaches me a lot through people.  I think we can see God in people, and that's how God teaches me about himself and about loving others.  That's all I'm offering for detail about that right now. 
This was my group, and they are grand.  Nothing bonds you like being stinky together on a mountain for 10 days.  


My Staff for this year is wonderful.  All of them have these awesome hearts for God and for people and I'm really excited to work beside them and just have fun with each other.  Not to mention, game nights seem to be equally matched between the males and the females, so competition there is grand.  I'm sure there will be more on all that later, but for now, I'm just super excited for the year.    

Randoms:
  • "Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.
  • My friends are the greatest. 
  • Salmon might be one of my new favorite meal choices.
  • Ben (if you're reading this), Josh is really sorry.    



Thursday, July 21, 2011

People Watching Watching People.

Today was quite the uneventful eventful day.  It started off late, because I slept in til noon.  And although that part was glorious, I really need to stop wasting my mornings.  Anyways. Then I watched So You Think You Can Dance on Hulu for probably about 4 hours.  Which was amazing.  I love that show.

Anyways. Tonight at work, I was just intrigued by people.  There was a nice chunk of time where I was working the front register, so I got to see all types of people. 
There was one young couple.  High-schoolers.  Gorgeous couple.  Real cute too.  She wanted a plain waffle bowl and he wanted a dipped.  And they had this cute little argument about which one was the 'normal' one.  She says to me "Just tell him I'm right."  And I say "The girl is always right."  Even though I don't really think that.  They just seemed like a couple that would laugh at that.  And they did.  So, success. 
There was another couple. Not so much adorable.  Older guy.  Younger asain girl. Wayyyy too touchy feely.  That's really all I have to say about them.  He was probably her sugar daddy.  But seriously.  Get a room.
Then there was a grandpa with two adorable little girls. They were probably like 3 years old.  And they took forever to decide.  But I didn't really care.  Because they were far too adorable. 
It was interesting too because the 'classes' seemed to keep switching.  Now, I know that means I'm stereotyping., and I'm okay with that.  But there would be this cute adorable couple that smelt like farm and probably only goes to get DQ after a really hard day of work.  Then there's that old man who comes in to get three sundaes with a hundred dollar bill.  Just all different kinds of people.  But that's what I like about the world. 
Last was my favorite.  There's a knock at the drive thru window and I turn around to see a bunch of people standing out there.  And by a bunch, I mean 7.  They were all wearing these navy blue polos with different names embroidered on them.  Like Kevin and Kody and Travis.  The big boys all got large blizzards.  Which are huge, by the way.  And mom and the little one got large sundaes.  But that's all irrelevant.  What matters is that they were adorable, and they made my night.  And they went walking through the drive through because they couldn't fit their trailer through.  And when I asked if they needed extra napkins, Kevin says "Nah, I got my shirt.", and walks away with a smile.  Far too adorable. 


And now, it's 2 in the morning.  And I am staying up way too late once again. 
So, I bid you goodnight.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Rambles.

I'm feeling awfully random today.  So here goes nothin. 


I'm at the coffee shop right now.  And last time they forgot about my drink so I got a free one this time, so I decided to splurge and get a blended Turtle Latte.  Sounds delicious, right?  Wrong.  Way too much nut syrup or whatever it is that they put in there.  Hazelnut? Amaretto? I don't care but it tastes like crap.  I'm drinking it anyways though.  Of course.  Next time I'm going back to the Green Mango tea.  Lesson learned. 


I have a couple of goals.  These are them.  Short term: Have Daddio re-teach me how to play cribbage before I head back to school.  Medium term: Be super stellar at playing bar chords on the guitar by Christmas.  And by super stellar, I mean decently good.  Long term: Well. I guess go visit Colorado.  Or just fall in love and have a family full of love.  


I like Mac N Cheese better when it's leftover.  Which I packed for supper tonight while I'm working.  Speaking of work.  Back to DQ tonight.  Hopefully I'm not too rusty.  


I hardly have time to explain because i have to head to work. But. Last night I had a long overdue talk with my friend, Michael.  I appreciate him bunches and there's not too much we don't talk about.  Anyways.  He seems to know everything about what guys and girls feel in relationships, but, I beg to differ sometimes.  It's convenient because he gives me a lot of insight on what guys could feel sometimes.  But.  He said that guys are never oblivious to how a girl might feel about then.  He says they at least always think about it.  And I disagree.  Because I think guys are oblivious sometimes.  That's all. 


Right now, I wish I were sitting with Steph, watching Easy A, making grilled cheese, and then painting nails.  


Ta ta.     

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Grilled Cheese Theory.

Right now, I'm watching The Voice on Hulu.  And I must say.  I love Javier Colon.  If you haven't heard him, you should probaby look him up because he sings like an angel. 

In other news, I'm hungry.  And I think I want a grilled cheese, but I'm not really sure.  Last night I wanted grilled cheese.  But Steph told me I couldn't because it was 3am, and I needed to go to bed and would have to wait until breakfast.  So now I'm confused because I don't know if I actually want a grilled cheese because I want one., of if I just want one because I wanted one last night. 
That reminds me of a theory I developed once.  So. Sometimes people have crushes on people.  So every day it's like., 'Oh, I have a crush on ____".  And that's just what you keep thinking everyday.  But what if, in the process of telling yourself this everyday, you've gradually stopped liking that person?  Except you don't really realize it because you've been telling yourself that you still like them again and again.  So, I suppose that means that we don't always truly know if we really want something, or if we just think we want it.

Mmk.  Well I'm about to either go make a grilled cheese, or find something else to eat. 

Randoms:
  • I watched Space Jam for the first time in my life last week.  Life changer.  Seriously.  I love MJ.
  • I go back to school in like, two and a half weeks!  Cracy.
  • I miss Blakeley and Nikweeta and Shayla and Ems a bunch right now.

Want To. Need To.

Right now, All I want to do is play guitar. 
What I need to do is my summer school homework.
I also want to watch hulu.  But I need to unpack all my Durley stuff. 
So.  This is my comprimise: I am going to do homework while watching hulu.  And when and if that gets over, I will play some guitar and then unpack.  And then do something with my mama. 

Speaking of unpacking, I've been home from Durley for two days.  And let me tell you, it's pretty wierd not waking up to a staff devo with my Durley family, and not having late night talks and staff hugs.  Durley just has the awesome environment that makes people bond like no other.  Words really can't even describe how much I love them.  What's the best is that most of them are going to school with me in the fall, so seeing them will be a quite often occurence :)
Here's my lil shout out to them all:

Kitty Kat: I'm so pumped to play guitar with you next year. And have some real conversations :) Woop Woop!
Jamie: You, my love, are awesome.  Friend crush: fullfilled. Life stories: soon to come.
Rachel Dee: You are the perfect, loving, assistant director.
Benny boo: Thanks for being you and loving God.  Seriously, you really do got it, baby! Can't wait to jam out to some rap with you soon!
Josh Dees: Getting to know you better is truly a blessing.  Thanks for being real with me and loving me despite my sassiness.
Britany: You have the sweetest voice and the sweetest hugs.
Pooks: No one else in the world would drive me to Wisconsin and back as many times as you have.  Thanks for truly showing me love in the most honest way anyone ever has. 



In other news,
I do love home.  I've missed my family and Michael and Jonathan and Carly.  And I'll be working at DQ for a couple of weeks, so it'll be nice to have that family back.
Life is crazy. Pretty much tomorrow I have to pack and head back.


Aye. Yi. Yiiiiy.   

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Have You Seen A Penguin Power Team?!

Currently I sit in Joolah's apartment watching Gilmore Girls and catching up on emails, blogging and facebook stalking.  

Since I've been internet absent for a couple weeks, I'll briefly summarize.  Working at Durley is great.  I mean, who doesn't want God all around and silly songs stuck in your head every morning when you wake up?  And the staff is completely wonderful and awesome.  We're two camps down and three to go.
The first week was 4-6th graders, and last week was junior highers, which was the best.  My girls were awesome and everything was just grand.  And although I love my campers, I must say that hanging out with the staff on the weekends is my favorite thing to do.  Even though we're all incredibly tired and slap happy and people who see us probably think something is wrong with us.  And if there is by chance ever a free minute, I'm too tired to do anything.  But it's all part of the experience, right?   



And I'm too tired to form thoughts, so I think eating food and watching the Bachelorette is a better idea for me at the moment.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Coondogs And Cold Beer.

Lately I've been on this country kick. 
There.
I said it.
I swore I wouldn't., but there it is.  Sure it's slightly embarassing but it is what it is.  I think it may be influenced by the fact that 'mainstream' music is so overplayed, and every single time I turn on 95.5, "The Lazy Song" is playing for the 27th time.
Now, let me mention that country music isn't something foreign to me.  In my years of working at a DQ with a stereo, having a country-loving-highschool-best-friend, and two freshman roommates who had the right to over rule my music choices, I've had my share of country music (dare I say...) forced upon me.  And to be truthful, I didn't mind the occasional country song.  But, admitting it all is just a huge step for me. 
Of course, it won't be all I'll listen to, but I think I'll slowly let a bit more sneak onto my ipod.  Slowly.  Only the good stuff like The Band Perry and Zac Brown Band.  None of that old twangy crap.  You know, what's funny about country is how much they talk about being country.  They're really proud.  It's all about coondogs, bare feet, cold beer, summer heat, tractors, and thinks like blue jeans.  But, I will give them this- they have clever lyrics.  And there's just something grand about knowing the lyrics and singing along.  I'm a fan of the current country beat of "Barefoot Blue Jean Night" (see, there's the bare feet and the blue jeans).  But really.  That beat's fun. 
Anyways, I suppose that's how I feel about country music for now.  I can't wait until Steph gets here TONIGHT and we can jam out to "Big Green Tractor".

Monday, June 6, 2011

Send Me Away With The Words Of A Love Song.

Today I learned 'If I Die Young' by The Band Perry on guitar.  It's really not that hard.  At all.  It's just not really in my singing range.. . But it's a real good song.
I bought a capo and six picks the other day because I started playing guitar again.  And well, I lost my capo and my picks are somewhere in this house, but.. they weren't anywhere near my guitar.  Anyways. I just really missed playing.  And I know I won't be able to play when I head off to camp next week, but I will when I get home and go back to school. 

Anyways. I leave for Durley on Saturday.  It's weird because it seems like it crept up on me so fast.  Haven't started packing yet.. Looks like I'm still me.  It'll get done though, no biggie. 

Let's see. I guess here's some randoms.
  • I've been getting headaches again. Humidity sucks.
  • On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.  Shoot. that really sucks.
  • I want God to give me wisdom. So much wisdom. On this one thing right now. Soon.
  • It took Leonardo da Vinci 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips. Seriously? I would have given up.

A Letter A Day: Day Two...

Dear crush,

I can't really say anything real. Because this is the internet. So. I'll just say this.

You still give me butterflies. 

<3 MJ

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Yesterday. Today.

Yesterday my mom informed me about something I had never heard of.  My dogs and my mom and I were in the car, and Snickers all of the sudden snaps at Peppe.  My mom explained to me that this is a case of 'Little Man Syndrome'.  Apparently that's when a little man thinks he's a big man.  Ha.  It cracked me up for a while.  
Also.  Yesterday was a pretty healthy day for me.  I'm trying.  It's the whole summer-I-need-to-lose-weight thing.  Either way, I ate healthy.  And I ran 3 whole miles.  I was pretty proud.  And, I need to keep this in mind; if I exercise an hour a day, 96% of my week is diet.  So, that's a lot.  So.  Eat healthy.  Why yes, I'll sure try.
Then Michael and Jonathan came over for a campfire, and it was probably one of my favorite nights so far.  So.  That was grand. 


Today was a pretty grand day as well.  I got up early to let the plumber in to fix our pressure tank.  So, since I was tired all day long, I just lazed around.  And, I haven't really had a great lazy day since I've been home.  So I enjoyed it to the max.  Caught up on television and painted a bit.  Ate a late supper with my parents and I'm finishing the day off by watching the game.  And going to bed early. 

So.  That'll be two grand days in a row.  I'll try for a third tomorrow.  It's up early for the Dairyfest breakfast and then I'm going bowling with mom and the kindergartners.  Then, coffee in the afternoon with my broski!


Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Blood Is Pretty Thick.

Not much in life is better than a family.  It's kind of funny to me, how it all works.  Families go through so much together.  They love each other, they fight, they cry together, they listen to each other, they argue with each other, they trust each other.  Nobody knows me like my family.  I rarely see my sister, but when I do, her presence alone could make a bad day grand again.  My mom and I have had our share of disagreements, but nobody can detect my 'fuzzy eyes' like she can.  [Fuzzy eyes is what she says I have when I like a boy. Or when he likes me. She's just always known these things.]  And never in my life have I encountered someone as trusting or as patient as my father.  I'm sure I've disappointed him, or he's disagreed with something, but he always finds a loving way to tell me and still supports me.  


All that being said, I got to see so much of my family this weekend and it was amazing.  Grama Wallner came on Sunday and spent the night.  I tell ya, she is a hoot.  We were talking about dogs, and she mentions her neighbors.  She says "Ohh he's a creature!.  There's a husband, a wife and a kid and that damn big dog!" Haha.  I also found out that she hates monkeys, and she thinks my pup, Snickers, is ugly.  
We had a wonderful little campfire in the back yard.  Monday, Dad and Jenna and I biked into town to see Grama and Grampa Loo.  I know there can't be much that makes Daddio happier than a bike ride with the daughters.  And my Grampa Loo's smile lights up the whole room.  Grampa's are the cutest when they laugh.  
I'm doing my best to cherish my family more.  It's a wonder how many seconds I've wasted in ridiculous moments of being upset at them, trying to prove a point, or whatnot.  And I'm bound to do it again, because I'm only human.
But they're always there.  Not in the annoying way, but in the I'll really always be here for you type of way.  And that, is grand. 



Grama Wallner.  Healthiest funniest grams alive. 

Daddio.  The most loving man.  :) 

Mama.  Such a free, loving spirit. :) 

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Bummed Out No More.

So.  I'm a girl.  Which is obvious.  But, more importantly, this means I struggle with self-esteem issues.  Most girls do now and then.  But, I think I struggle with it too much.  I've seen how it affects my daily life a bit too much.  And it's funny.  Because deep down, I do think I have this confidence.  But I hardly let anyone see that.  So.  I've decided to change that.  I'm going to read "Captivating" by Stasi Eldridge again, because I need to for COR next year, and last time I read it, it was a really great thing for me.  So.  From now on, I'm recognizing me for the woman that God intended me to be.  A confident one that shines for Him. 

In other news, the sister is here this weekend!  I see her hardly ever, so when I do see her, it's always a grand thing.  And Grama W is coming today too!  It's just been far too long since we've all been together. 

As far as this next week looks like... Well.  The spare bedroom has a bunch of random clothes and whatnot that really needs to be sifted through.  So that's on the agenda.  Then just organizing and hopefully a little crafting, some exercise and some television perhaps.  Maybe a letter or two to my far away lovelies. 
The reality of summer is setting in at last.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Ta Ta For Now, Greenville.

August 2010- May 2011


It all started with Walkabout.  10 days of hiking and sweating and not showering it off.  Welcome to Reslife and being a GC student leader.  It's the best. Seriously.   

This was my Amazing Race group.  'R-C-you-at-the-finish'.  We had to do a bunch of randomness like eat ho-hos filled with mustard and baby food, dance the cha-cha slide, and apply Old Spice deodorant.  So close to 1st place.  Oh well.  Next time.     

This is my bestie, Blake.  One of very few people that I just couldn't do life without.  I hardly even have words. 

This is Rachel Dee.  She was my RC for two years and my 'boss' this year.  She graduated, which is sad, but I get to work with her this summer!  Love this lady bunches.  

This is none other than my calc buddy, Katelyn, when we went home to her house.  We found out that weekend that the world is pretty small, families could probably heal anything, and Starbucks does in fact make for a happier person.  Anyone who meets this girl is so blessed.  

Panera bread for one of a couple girls nights.  I tell ya, friends just make life so much better.  

Where do I start?  This is my luf, Nikweeta.  Best roojmie in the world.  I'm still in denial about the fact that we won't be roojmies again.  But coffee dates will be often and more amazing than anyone could expect.  And, if I didn't have this lady to talk to, to ramble to, and to tell all my nonsense theories too, I would have had a lot of lonely days this semester.  Miss ju already, luf. 

This is Shaina and my boys from Mak.  Some good times have been spent.  

Em and Blake.  Ems will be my roomie next year.  I'm pretty pumped.  These girls just made this year so much fun.  So many of my giggles were products of their hilarity.  

Pooks.  Love her bunches.  She tells great stories and listens to the best music.  And she dresses the cutest.  But besides all that, she loves me til the ends of the earth, and she lets me know it.  Wtaching her grow since we first fell in love in Tenney has been one of my greatest pleasures.  So pumped to spend all summer with this lady.   

And here's Shaina.  We do Bible Studies together, watch Gilmore Girls together, make food together, talk about everything together, and.. probably lots more things.  We get to be on staff together again next year, which is grand since I'm not quite ready to let that go.  Basically, I love her.   

Julie.  Another one of the few I'd be lost without.  She just gets me.  And she listens to all of my crap.  And I seriously would just be so freakin lost without her.  I'll sure miss you this summer, Jules.  

New Orleans trip.  Kinda changed my life.  Or at least gave me a really refreshing outlook on things.

Ahh. Agapefest Staff.  Truly a great experience. Running bands' merchandise around on go-carts turns out to be so much fun.  And, we had the best group of people.  #Financeforever. 

I was blessed to meet this lovely lady this year.  Hillary is my Math Education buddy.  She's so sweet and so wonderful.  And she's living in my house next year! Can't. Wait.

Here she is again.  Literally the best friend I've ever had.  Love her so much.  Look at that face.  How coul anyone not?

These girlies are my favorite.  Never a dull moment.  And most importantly, never a moment without love.

Here is a Bible Study that we had on mine and Nikweeta's queen sized bed.  One of the most wonderful nights by far. 

And here's my Upper Division RC staff that I spent this year with.  They're really all great, and we have so much fun.  I'll sure miss these guys. 


Thank you, GC, for another grand year. 

Sunday, May 15, 2011

I Could Use A Pair Of Cozy Glasses.

This is the last weekend of my first senior year.  Kinda sad that I have to have two senior years.  But, you know what, it'll be okay.  Anyways . These random thoughts sum up my weekend.  


Unimaginable.  I can't imagine living a life without my parents.  You ask them to do something, they do it.  No questions asked.  If my parents see any distress in me at all they immediately go into attack mode and would probably take down anybody in my way.  And I just can't imagine living a life without them.  


My Dean.  If you've never seen Gilmore Girls, I suggest you cancel the next week or two of your life and rent all of the seasons.  And watch them.  Shaina and I are almost done with the fourth season, and... let me just say, having the seasons at hand makes it difficult to want to get any homework done.  Anyways.  Dean is not only beautiful, but he's perfect, to say the least.  And someday, I can't wait to have my very own Dean.  




Cozy Glasses.  I have a new theory.  It's about boys when they wear glasses.  Most people that are attracted to guys with glasses think it's because they look intelligent.  And maybe, for some, it is.  But my theory is that it's because glasses make a person look all ready for bed.  Thus making cute boys look cozy and cuddly. 


Anyways.  I think that's about all I have for now.  Time to finish up some homework before the Bulls play the Heat at 8.  Then it's to Jordan's bible study panel at 9 to try and help some boys understand girls better.  And 10 is a meeting with my girls for next year.  Pretty pumped. 


Randoms:

  • "Almost" is the longest word with all the vowels in order. 
  • In one week, my best friend is graduating.  Sad that she won't be at Greenville next year is an understatement.  But on the plus, I know God has something great next for her.  Because she's already effected so many lives for the positive.  And the other plus is that her and I have the rest of our lives to be besties.  So I know neither of us are going anywhere. 
  • It's against the law to have a pet dog in Iceland.  Well that's that.  I'm never living there. 
  • I'm so. tired.     

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Finally A Letter. Day One: Best Friend.

Dearest Blakeley, 
What even is there to say? I have absolutely NO IDEA what life would be like without you.  And honestly, I have no clue how I made it so far without you.  I am thankful for your ability to make me (and everyone) laugh.  You bring the hugest ray of sunshine everywhere you go.  The fact that you're so funny would make me believe that you wouldn't think I ever had anything funny to say, but you do, and I love that too.  
Aside from your humor, you have the ability to love.  Seriously Beaks, it's almost like your heart is bigger than any other humans'.  You love me on my good days.  You love me when I'm the crabbiest.  You forgive me almost instantly when I mess up, and you make me happy on my sad days.  
I remember that one time we went for a photo walk and decided that we were the reason people got married.  
I remember that one time we unpacked our room stuff to the musical styling of Kanye.. Break break break dance!
I remember all those times we had crushes on boys.  And wrote songs about it.
I remember when we got stuck in a traffic jam, and wore our scarves as hats and rocked out like crazy.  

I remember that one time we stayed up until 4am to make a Justin Beiber video that everyone loves.
I remember all those times we slept in each others beds. 

I remember that one time I got baptized at your church.
I remember that one time that one song came on in the car. 

I remember that one time we watched Black Cinderella and tried to write down all those words in that song.  
I remember that one time we took pictures with those headbands on.  
I remember that one time I decorated your Hello Kitty headphones like candy canes and you kept it that way.
I remember all the boys and dates we've watched each other go through.  

I 'remember' all of the people who made me sad.  And how you helped me forget about them.  They got nothin' on you.
I remember those times we were honest with each other.
I remember those times where we ate honey on cheese.
I remember that one picture.
I remember the times that you were the only one in the world who could make me smile.  

I remember the times I had tears, and you'd catch them.  And how you always knew when you should say something, and when you should just let me cry.  Somehow you just always know the words.  And you know how to motivate me.  And make me smile through all my hours of math homework.
I've never experienced a friendship like ours.  It's weird to say that such a great friendship is possible, because life has shown me that it's hard to come by.

You're flawless, godly, beautiful, loving, considerate, determined, responsible, b.e.a.utiful, and the closest to unconditional I've ever seen in a human.  Which is pretty darn close.
I seriously cannot believe God gave me a friend such as you.
We got chemistry, bayb.  Ain't no question about that.
Thank you, thank you for being all that you are.
I'll love you as long as 8 lies on its side.