Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Blood Is Pretty Thick.

Not much in life is better than a family.  It's kind of funny to me, how it all works.  Families go through so much together.  They love each other, they fight, they cry together, they listen to each other, they argue with each other, they trust each other.  Nobody knows me like my family.  I rarely see my sister, but when I do, her presence alone could make a bad day grand again.  My mom and I have had our share of disagreements, but nobody can detect my 'fuzzy eyes' like she can.  [Fuzzy eyes is what she says I have when I like a boy. Or when he likes me. She's just always known these things.]  And never in my life have I encountered someone as trusting or as patient as my father.  I'm sure I've disappointed him, or he's disagreed with something, but he always finds a loving way to tell me and still supports me.  


All that being said, I got to see so much of my family this weekend and it was amazing.  Grama Wallner came on Sunday and spent the night.  I tell ya, she is a hoot.  We were talking about dogs, and she mentions her neighbors.  She says "Ohh he's a creature!.  There's a husband, a wife and a kid and that damn big dog!" Haha.  I also found out that she hates monkeys, and she thinks my pup, Snickers, is ugly.  
We had a wonderful little campfire in the back yard.  Monday, Dad and Jenna and I biked into town to see Grama and Grampa Loo.  I know there can't be much that makes Daddio happier than a bike ride with the daughters.  And my Grampa Loo's smile lights up the whole room.  Grampa's are the cutest when they laugh.  
I'm doing my best to cherish my family more.  It's a wonder how many seconds I've wasted in ridiculous moments of being upset at them, trying to prove a point, or whatnot.  And I'm bound to do it again, because I'm only human.
But they're always there.  Not in the annoying way, but in the I'll really always be here for you type of way.  And that, is grand. 



Grama Wallner.  Healthiest funniest grams alive. 

Daddio.  The most loving man.  :) 

Mama.  Such a free, loving spirit. :) 

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Bummed Out No More.

So.  I'm a girl.  Which is obvious.  But, more importantly, this means I struggle with self-esteem issues.  Most girls do now and then.  But, I think I struggle with it too much.  I've seen how it affects my daily life a bit too much.  And it's funny.  Because deep down, I do think I have this confidence.  But I hardly let anyone see that.  So.  I've decided to change that.  I'm going to read "Captivating" by Stasi Eldridge again, because I need to for COR next year, and last time I read it, it was a really great thing for me.  So.  From now on, I'm recognizing me for the woman that God intended me to be.  A confident one that shines for Him. 

In other news, the sister is here this weekend!  I see her hardly ever, so when I do see her, it's always a grand thing.  And Grama W is coming today too!  It's just been far too long since we've all been together. 

As far as this next week looks like... Well.  The spare bedroom has a bunch of random clothes and whatnot that really needs to be sifted through.  So that's on the agenda.  Then just organizing and hopefully a little crafting, some exercise and some television perhaps.  Maybe a letter or two to my far away lovelies. 
The reality of summer is setting in at last.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Ta Ta For Now, Greenville.

August 2010- May 2011


It all started with Walkabout.  10 days of hiking and sweating and not showering it off.  Welcome to Reslife and being a GC student leader.  It's the best. Seriously.   

This was my Amazing Race group.  'R-C-you-at-the-finish'.  We had to do a bunch of randomness like eat ho-hos filled with mustard and baby food, dance the cha-cha slide, and apply Old Spice deodorant.  So close to 1st place.  Oh well.  Next time.     

This is my bestie, Blake.  One of very few people that I just couldn't do life without.  I hardly even have words. 

This is Rachel Dee.  She was my RC for two years and my 'boss' this year.  She graduated, which is sad, but I get to work with her this summer!  Love this lady bunches.  

This is none other than my calc buddy, Katelyn, when we went home to her house.  We found out that weekend that the world is pretty small, families could probably heal anything, and Starbucks does in fact make for a happier person.  Anyone who meets this girl is so blessed.  

Panera bread for one of a couple girls nights.  I tell ya, friends just make life so much better.  

Where do I start?  This is my luf, Nikweeta.  Best roojmie in the world.  I'm still in denial about the fact that we won't be roojmies again.  But coffee dates will be often and more amazing than anyone could expect.  And, if I didn't have this lady to talk to, to ramble to, and to tell all my nonsense theories too, I would have had a lot of lonely days this semester.  Miss ju already, luf. 

This is Shaina and my boys from Mak.  Some good times have been spent.  

Em and Blake.  Ems will be my roomie next year.  I'm pretty pumped.  These girls just made this year so much fun.  So many of my giggles were products of their hilarity.  

Pooks.  Love her bunches.  She tells great stories and listens to the best music.  And she dresses the cutest.  But besides all that, she loves me til the ends of the earth, and she lets me know it.  Wtaching her grow since we first fell in love in Tenney has been one of my greatest pleasures.  So pumped to spend all summer with this lady.   

And here's Shaina.  We do Bible Studies together, watch Gilmore Girls together, make food together, talk about everything together, and.. probably lots more things.  We get to be on staff together again next year, which is grand since I'm not quite ready to let that go.  Basically, I love her.   

Julie.  Another one of the few I'd be lost without.  She just gets me.  And she listens to all of my crap.  And I seriously would just be so freakin lost without her.  I'll sure miss you this summer, Jules.  

New Orleans trip.  Kinda changed my life.  Or at least gave me a really refreshing outlook on things.

Ahh. Agapefest Staff.  Truly a great experience. Running bands' merchandise around on go-carts turns out to be so much fun.  And, we had the best group of people.  #Financeforever. 

I was blessed to meet this lovely lady this year.  Hillary is my Math Education buddy.  She's so sweet and so wonderful.  And she's living in my house next year! Can't. Wait.

Here she is again.  Literally the best friend I've ever had.  Love her so much.  Look at that face.  How coul anyone not?

These girlies are my favorite.  Never a dull moment.  And most importantly, never a moment without love.

Here is a Bible Study that we had on mine and Nikweeta's queen sized bed.  One of the most wonderful nights by far. 

And here's my Upper Division RC staff that I spent this year with.  They're really all great, and we have so much fun.  I'll sure miss these guys. 


Thank you, GC, for another grand year. 

Sunday, May 15, 2011

I Could Use A Pair Of Cozy Glasses.

This is the last weekend of my first senior year.  Kinda sad that I have to have two senior years.  But, you know what, it'll be okay.  Anyways . These random thoughts sum up my weekend.  


Unimaginable.  I can't imagine living a life without my parents.  You ask them to do something, they do it.  No questions asked.  If my parents see any distress in me at all they immediately go into attack mode and would probably take down anybody in my way.  And I just can't imagine living a life without them.  


My Dean.  If you've never seen Gilmore Girls, I suggest you cancel the next week or two of your life and rent all of the seasons.  And watch them.  Shaina and I are almost done with the fourth season, and... let me just say, having the seasons at hand makes it difficult to want to get any homework done.  Anyways.  Dean is not only beautiful, but he's perfect, to say the least.  And someday, I can't wait to have my very own Dean.  




Cozy Glasses.  I have a new theory.  It's about boys when they wear glasses.  Most people that are attracted to guys with glasses think it's because they look intelligent.  And maybe, for some, it is.  But my theory is that it's because glasses make a person look all ready for bed.  Thus making cute boys look cozy and cuddly. 


Anyways.  I think that's about all I have for now.  Time to finish up some homework before the Bulls play the Heat at 8.  Then it's to Jordan's bible study panel at 9 to try and help some boys understand girls better.  And 10 is a meeting with my girls for next year.  Pretty pumped. 


Randoms:

  • "Almost" is the longest word with all the vowels in order. 
  • In one week, my best friend is graduating.  Sad that she won't be at Greenville next year is an understatement.  But on the plus, I know God has something great next for her.  Because she's already effected so many lives for the positive.  And the other plus is that her and I have the rest of our lives to be besties.  So I know neither of us are going anywhere. 
  • It's against the law to have a pet dog in Iceland.  Well that's that.  I'm never living there. 
  • I'm so. tired.     

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Finally A Letter. Day One: Best Friend.

Dearest Blakeley, 
What even is there to say? I have absolutely NO IDEA what life would be like without you.  And honestly, I have no clue how I made it so far without you.  I am thankful for your ability to make me (and everyone) laugh.  You bring the hugest ray of sunshine everywhere you go.  The fact that you're so funny would make me believe that you wouldn't think I ever had anything funny to say, but you do, and I love that too.  
Aside from your humor, you have the ability to love.  Seriously Beaks, it's almost like your heart is bigger than any other humans'.  You love me on my good days.  You love me when I'm the crabbiest.  You forgive me almost instantly when I mess up, and you make me happy on my sad days.  
I remember that one time we went for a photo walk and decided that we were the reason people got married.  
I remember that one time we unpacked our room stuff to the musical styling of Kanye.. Break break break dance!
I remember all those times we had crushes on boys.  And wrote songs about it.
I remember when we got stuck in a traffic jam, and wore our scarves as hats and rocked out like crazy.  

I remember that one time we stayed up until 4am to make a Justin Beiber video that everyone loves.
I remember all those times we slept in each others beds. 

I remember that one time I got baptized at your church.
I remember that one time that one song came on in the car. 

I remember that one time we watched Black Cinderella and tried to write down all those words in that song.  
I remember that one time we took pictures with those headbands on.  
I remember that one time I decorated your Hello Kitty headphones like candy canes and you kept it that way.
I remember all the boys and dates we've watched each other go through.  

I 'remember' all of the people who made me sad.  And how you helped me forget about them.  They got nothin' on you.
I remember those times we were honest with each other.
I remember those times where we ate honey on cheese.
I remember that one picture.
I remember the times that you were the only one in the world who could make me smile.  

I remember the times I had tears, and you'd catch them.  And how you always knew when you should say something, and when you should just let me cry.  Somehow you just always know the words.  And you know how to motivate me.  And make me smile through all my hours of math homework.
I've never experienced a friendship like ours.  It's weird to say that such a great friendship is possible, because life has shown me that it's hard to come by.

You're flawless, godly, beautiful, loving, considerate, determined, responsible, b.e.a.utiful, and the closest to unconditional I've ever seen in a human.  Which is pretty darn close.
I seriously cannot believe God gave me a friend such as you.
We got chemistry, bayb.  Ain't no question about that.
Thank you, thank you for being all that you are.
I'll love you as long as 8 lies on its side.  






Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day.

First, and least importantly, I'm contemplating having a breakdown.  The thing is., I'm still really behind in math.  And I didn't really care too much up until today.  When I realized that I really know nothing about 8.2 in Linear, which means I can hardly know much about 8.3.  Which.. doesn't give me too high of hopes for our upcoming Thursday test.  So.  Yea.  It's just that I have such little time left until the summer.  And as much as I want to and need to stay motivated, it's just so. hard.  


In other news, I finally went to church again this morning.  It had been a little too long.  I'd been listening to sermons online and just.. not really going to church.  But it was refreshing today.  And today is Mother's Day.  So Pastor Bill had the mothers come up and prayed for all of them.  Then all of the college students that are leaving soon came up, and he had all the mothers put a hand on us and he prayed for us.  It was pretty great.  I liked the whole pseudo-mother effect.  


In more other news, I've been thinking a lot about next year.  How I'm gonna decorate the house and whatnot.  And, I think I have a theme (in the making). 
[redefine].
And then over the course of the year (through Bible studies and such) we'll redefine things.  Like, go back to the basics of the Bible and figure out what it says about different things.  Like happiness, love, beauty, struggles, prayer, encouragement... and whatever else.  So yep.  That's that idea.  


Lastly then, tonight is the Agape dinner.  It shall be a good time.  I miss my finance staff and the commotion of getting everybody's merch to sell for them. Anyways.  I'm really getting ready for summer.  And by that I mean., so ready to get rid of homework stress.  


P.S. It being Mother's day and all really makes me want to be home.  Sorry I can't be with you, mama, to enjoy this day.  I can't even count the times in my life that you've been there for me with or without asking.  The times you let me use you as an excuse for anything.  The times you 'just knew' everything about boys.  The times you picked me up when I fell down.  Physically or emotionally.  I love you.  And I wish there was more I could do to let you know that. 
Love, Baby Jane.  

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Three Great Things.

Even though I'm miles and miles behind on homework, I still have the best life ever.  Why you ask?  Okay, I'll tell you.  I'm sitting on Julie's couch, drinking Jones cream soda, watching the Bulls game.  And homework is on the agenda for the night, so I feel productive enough about that.  To elaborate, I'll break down all this goodness.  Julie.  She's the best.  Seriously, I have no clue how I'd do life without her.  She listens to all my nonsense talk and trusts to me enough to tell me real things.  Which is great.  So that's that.  Then we've got Jones Cream Soda.  And let me tell you, it's hard to get a beverage better than that.  It reminds me of summer and campfires with my good ol' church pals.  Then we have the Chicago Bulls.  Mmm.  This year, I realized how much I missed them, so I started to watch them again.  Great choice on my behalf.  Anyways.  Props to Derrick Rose for being MVP of the NBA.  Alright, well, slowly (but surely), I'm on my way to the homework road.  




Love this lady

Yumma. Yumma. 

Derrick Rose, everyone. 
Ben Gordon. British. Beautiful. But now he plays for the Pistons.  I'll still appreciate this. 
 P.S. I have the best and funniest friends in the world. 

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

If I Had A B.L.O.G.

So, way back when before I had a blog, I had an inbox with myself on facebook.  Call me a loser, I don't care, but I actually had several.  I collect good stuff in there.  Anyways, this particular inbox was called 'If I had a B.L.O.G., and it was kind of my warm up to see if I'd actually use a blog.  Obviously, test passed, because here we are.  Anyways.  Here's a little blast to the recent-ish past.  

April 19, 2010 at 11:16pm

The day is almost coming to a close. If I had a blog, I would say that this day was rather unimportant. Although, in the broad scope of things it could have been important to someone. Maybe I smiled at someone who was having a bad day, or maybe I just sat with someone at lunch who needed a friend. Or maybe it really was unimportant and just like any other. I decided not to skip class, and was rewarded by a canceled class. I picked up my island on facebook, which is a multiple occurrence during the day, and I didn't turn in my calculus, which is unfortunately becoming a regular occurrence. I also went to the coffee shop again and realized that (from a negative perspective) all I will gain from the coffee shop is stained teeth and an empty wallet. From a positive perspective, however, I would say that, from this coffee shop, I will gain social experience with my fellow friends and strangers along with productivity and the delicious taste of peppermint mocha, whether in the form of an iced latte or hot deliciousness. So, unimportant or not, this day was wonderful.

Quote of the day : "Sorry, little darlin'. I hope I didn't dent your dew" - Link Larkin
April 21, 2010 at 3:35pm

If I had a blog, I would say that I agree with Jack Johnson when he says 'There were so many fewer questions when stars were just the holes to heaven'. Not even sure if Jack Johnson makes sense all the time. Maybe he's just so smart that I can't understand what he means, but sometimes he can be quite profound.
I have a calculus test tomorrow. Calculus has been kicking my butt for. . . about a semester now so., this will be fun. And that all goes back to., if we still thought stars were holes to heaven, do you think Descartes would have cared about how to find the location of that stupid spider on his wall? I don't.

Quote of the day is from me: Life is just a cereal and Chemistry's just a class.
April 22, 2010 at 3:36pm

Today, I set out for a mile run with my ipod on shuffle as I realized it had been far too long since my last run. After several pump up songs and the mental 'You can do this Megs', it's time for the cool down. My ipod shuffles to a song by Robyn, whom I've shuffled upon before and skipped over almost immediately. But this song, was different than her others. I listen to the piano keys and right about when I decide to listen to what the lyrics had to say I hear:

"You're right
Some words are just unspoken
So right
Then it all just falls apart
The day I break your heart"

And I know these lyrics don't necessarily fit what happens in my mind next, but it set the mood for my solitude and thinking.
There is a foreign student here, and I saw him walking. I've always noticed that he's kind of a loner, and seems to keep to himself. As he's walking I see him bring a cigarette to his mouth. Normally when people smoke my first thought is that they are gross and disgusting, but when I couldn't help but to feel sad. I just thought of him being alone and not having anyone to confide in. Then I assumed that the reason he was walking away from campus with a cigarette in hand was his outlet for whatever was going on with him at the time. Maybe he has no one to talk with or maybe he feels like no one cares that he's here. And I just can't imagine how that would feel. I don't know why I don't really reach out to people like that, I suppose that's something that I should work on, but for now it makes me really thankful for everyone who loves me.
The song goes on like this:

"I caught my reflection
in the corner of your eye
You said "Don't even ask the question,
and I won't tell the lie"
Where there's no accusation
there's no need for denial
And if you hadn't heard that whisper
there'd be no tear to
wipe from your eye

You're right
Some words are best unspoken
So right
Then it all just falls apart

The day I break your heart"

I just really like those lyrics. "Don't even ask the question and I won't tell the lie." Good stuff.
April 29, 2010 at 10:37pm

If I had a blog I would say that I am obviously not the best at keeping a daily record. I would also say that I have watched maybe 4 episodes of Bones today and have not started my calculus with an hour and a half until my bedtime. (I'm still watching Bones and Calc takes a minimum of 3 hours) But. tomorrow is Friday.
Next I would say that if you were reading this, you'd know who you are and I want to say:

I found that dime in the zipper of my grey jacket.
The one that you said I should keep there.
And you'd check every time I wore it to see if it was still there.
Then you'd say "Good." with a really cute smile on your face.
I miss you and I think you made a mistake.
Deep down I know that I'm still wishing you'd tell me that you were falling in love with me and you got scared.
I wish that you would tell me that you've missed me.
That you've missed holding me and calling me beautiful.
That you've missed the way I'd laugh or the way that I look at you.
I wish that you'd tell me you've missed our sweet tea runs
And I wish that you would tell me that you haven't quite been you since I've been gone.
But I know that's not going to happen.
So.
I guess I'll continue to pretend that I ignore you when you're sitting in front of me.
Maybe if I do that long enough I'll stop missing you.
Hopefully someday soon the hurt will go away and I can move on.
Maybe someday I'll look at you and not be phased by the way that you used to care and then suddenly turned to be less than amused.
But you should know that I still care.
Even though I wish that I wouldn't.
I want you to get out of my head so I can smile like the way I did before I knew you.
Not that I'm not happy.
I'm fine and independent.
But that doesn't mean I don't miss you.
And that doesn't mean that I thought you weren't perfect.
For the time being.

And that is all I have for today.
May 8, 2010 at 10:03pm

If I had a blog today., I would say that a Christmas song at the beginning of May might not be such a bad thing. I would also say that I discovered Ron Pope today., and he is a pretty good singer, with pretty neat lyrics.

A drop in the ocean, a change in the weather
I was praying that you and me might end up together.
It's like I'm wishing for rain as I stand in the dessert
But i'm holding you closer than most
Cuz you are my heaven. ...
...
Heaven doesn't seem far away anymore. Heaven doesn't seem far away.

Shoot. He's good. I can't wait to have someone feel that way about me. Anyways. Back to reality.
I was productive today.
I studied 2 sections in calc, watched half an episode of Biggest Loser, 2 episodes of Survivor, and 2 episodes of Amazing Race. And bound a journal. I'm watching the third episode of Amazing Race right now. The lesbians are fighting. Hmm. Maybe that's why man and woman go together so well. Who woulda thought? God's a genius.
Speaking of the Amazing Race, my dad and I have talked about going on that show forever. And I texted him today to tell him I was watching it and thinking about him and I mentioned that the show could use a father-daughter team. He said "I think about the every time I watch that show" So basically, my dad is the cutest.
And my laundry is done. If I don't fold it quick., it will wrinkle .

Random fact: I have 4 toothbrushes that I currently use.



That's all.