Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Partly Like It's The End Of The World.

Well. I suppose a lot happened in 2012. Then again.. how can only a little happen over 365 days? That's an awful lot of days.  So. Here we go.  It's reflection time.

I'm sure more happened then I can even remember.  And I'm sure more happened then you'd care to hear.  What I do know is that this is the year that I've had the most realizations about myself.  Who I am.  What I believe. Why I do the things I do.  I've finally started to embrace most things about me.  Some say I over-analyze .. and while that may be true., I think I analyze just the right amount for my liking.

To sum up a little bit of what I learned about myself:
1. I'm analytical. I'm blaming this development on my math major. But you know.. it's kind of fun to analyze things. Gets me thinking.
2. I'm not very good at organizing my thoughts.  And I have probably too many of them.  If you want a visual... My brain feels like a big old black space.  And thoughts float around in it in mostly incomplete and run-on sentences of all different shapes and colors.  The colors change a lot too.  Because most of my thoughts could fit into too many categories if I actually had categories to put them in.  But those are pretty blurry too [the categories]. So. Since they float around too much., a lot of them get sucked into a black hole and lost forever. Which is why I wish there was some neat way my brain could organize itself.  In a nice beautiful color-schemed outline.
3. I go on far too many tangents.  And sometimes I can't find my way back to the curve I took a tangent from.
4. I'm incredibly intrigued by other people.  I suppose that goes with the analyzing thing. I wish I was a bit more outgoing so that I could get to know more people and their stories.  Why they are the way they are.  I'm individualistic. No two people are the same. No two relationships can be the same. And that's the beauty of the world.  

5. I thrive on conversation. After all... That's mainly how we learn things.  Whether it be someone's favorite color or a fact about the Civil War that I'll most likely forget... new conversational discoveries are pretty great. 
6. Laughing is my favorite. 

...And other main miscellaneous thoughts from 2012:
1. My sister is my best friend. Seriously. I think I've grown closer to her this past year than any of the rest of them.  I can tell her anything and rest assured she'll care., no matter how dumb or significant it is. I'd be lost without her.
2. It's easier to understand than to try to be understood.  Even though we all want to be understood.  It can be exhausting to try to make people understand you.  Since we're all so different.  But if you try to understand people then you can sometimes understand why they do the things they do.  And that can often make more room for forgiveness. Don't get me wrong.. we all need to be understood a little.  But that's another discussion for another time.  

3. A lot of my friends got married this year.  And a few of my besties found love in their boyfriends.  I've thought a lot about relationships. I actually got quite independent in my singleness this year.  I was pleasantly surprised how happy was to be 'alone' in 2012. Of course not every day. But.. probably about 73% of the time.  Which is pretty good for me. My thoughts on love and all that are possibly endless.  So this obviously isn't the time or place for that. 
4. Oh yeah. I graduated from college. So that's a pretty big deal I suppose. And along with graduating comes all of the post-grad freakout/confusion madness. Being responsible can be hard. Finding motivation and determination can be hard too.  
5. You've got to have something to fight for in your life.  Whether it be a person. Several people.  A dream.  A goal.  Anything. It'd be kind of ridiculous to just let life run past you. 
6. My parents turned out to be pretty awesome too.  It's like they actually have wisdom or something.  
7. At the end of the day.,month.. year., whatever.. . I think we need to do our best to let love prevail. 

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